a poem from a Friend, somehow sums up how I felt after one-week traveling
A little bit lost and a little bit blue,
Oh the things memories can do to you.
A little bit torn and a little bit used
Oh how the Present can feel like abuse
A little bit shaken and a little bit bruised
Oh how my Future seems constantly confused
剛開始了一個月的流浪, 可是有了旅行疲倦. 大概是因為每天起來,就到不同的景點去觀光朝聖, 然後回旅館.每天的一兩個 "must-go " tourist spots, 可卻仍帶有一點的 "didn't do much" 的心態, should have done more., should get most out of it 的mentality, 這種人有點累. 或許習慣了香港的'趕', 又或許是亞洲的速食文化, (和一個新加坡的女生一起浪游). 放慢腳步去過日子, 竟有點的不自在....旅行的意義...是一個很難答的問題.
想著未來, 想著前途, 心又有點的忐忑不安...
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
PAY OFF
記得之前的一篇叫文化溝通, 當中提到, 寫了一封電郵給組員,告訴他們, 我的不滿,有了一次坦誠的文化對話.
雖然Daniel的回郵像是小動物受傷後的極力反擊, 可是之後的幾次meeting, 他都很主動地提出意見, 相約見面. 是一個很好的改善. :)
最後一次的課堂準備, 我們相約商討如何設計課堂.
或許因為大家都累了,也因著那次的文化對話, 大家都很舒服地做自己. 於是又有了另一次的文化交流, 不過, 這次是開心的.
他們告訴我, 墨國人不喜歡hostel culture, 不喜歡和一群不熟的人混在一起,尤其是男女. 所以墨國人通常會去酒店.
他們說, 12月是party--xxx月, 不記得那個party term. 墨國人的party culture, 甚至有pre 和 post-- xx 的月份, 其實只是想繼續party, 把快樂延續.
他們說在1月有一個節日, 就是會吃面包, 1月6日, 如果你吃的面包,當中有一個人形figure, 就表示你要舉辦 fiesta, 讓大家have fun.
他們也留意到,我們那個由學生設計的英語改善課程根本就是fundermentally flawed. 因為不少班級只是看電影而已. 那些老師學生沒有多大得著, 辜負了他們的長途跋涉. 因此想向當局 (TEC)提出建議, 要他們審查學生的教學方法.
他們說, 其實這也反應著墨國教育的問題, 老師沒有受到很好的Training, not well-equipped for the teaching, directly afecting the next generation.
不知道這和那次文化對話有沒有關係, 但看到他們的積極, 可以坦誠地分享, 勇敢地去面對自己國家的黑暗面, 還是讓人鼓舞的.
我想, 我應該是他們的朋友吧. 而不是那些他們印象中, 不可一世, 自我感覺良好的外國人.
雖然Daniel的回郵像是小動物受傷後的極力反擊, 可是之後的幾次meeting, 他都很主動地提出意見, 相約見面. 是一個很好的改善. :)
最後一次的課堂準備, 我們相約商討如何設計課堂.
或許因為大家都累了,也因著那次的文化對話, 大家都很舒服地做自己. 於是又有了另一次的文化交流, 不過, 這次是開心的.
他們告訴我, 墨國人不喜歡hostel culture, 不喜歡和一群不熟的人混在一起,尤其是男女. 所以墨國人通常會去酒店.
他們說, 12月是party--xxx月, 不記得那個party term. 墨國人的party culture, 甚至有pre 和 post-- xx 的月份, 其實只是想繼續party, 把快樂延續.
他們說在1月有一個節日, 就是會吃面包, 1月6日, 如果你吃的面包,當中有一個人形figure, 就表示你要舉辦 fiesta, 讓大家have fun.
他們也留意到,我們那個由學生設計的英語改善課程根本就是fundermentally flawed. 因為不少班級只是看電影而已. 那些老師學生沒有多大得著, 辜負了他們的長途跋涉. 因此想向當局 (TEC)提出建議, 要他們審查學生的教學方法.
他們說, 其實這也反應著墨國教育的問題, 老師沒有受到很好的Training, not well-equipped for the teaching, directly afecting the next generation.
不知道這和那次文化對話有沒有關係, 但看到他們的積極, 可以坦誠地分享, 勇敢地去面對自己國家的黑暗面, 還是讓人鼓舞的.
我想, 我應該是他們的朋友吧. 而不是那些他們印象中, 不可一世, 自我感覺良好的外國人.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
西班牙文與全球化
去了一個小吃站吃tacos, (Local staple food), 結帳的時候,用我那笨拙的西班牙文, 跟老闆說,
"la factura?" (the bill)
為了表現自己的有禮貌, 加了一句, "por favor".
坐在我身邊的男人開口了,大概是, 外國學生來到這裡學會的只有三個西班牙文,
1. gracias, (thank you)
2. por favor, (please)
3.la cerveza (beer)
他說得很平淡,但卻帶點嘲諷的意味. 不過, 我可不懂"la cerveza", 但我知道什麼是"martini" 和"tequila". 哈哈.
--------
然後是去學校電腦室找技術員,問了一句, "habla ingles?" (speak english?)
他帶點憤怒地說, "no ingles, aqui Mexico." (no english, here is mexico)
然後用我那爛透了的西班牙文去溝通.
--------
去immigration office 辦學生簽證, 那裡的工作人員很少懂得英文, 甚至在monterrey air port 過海關, 那裡的工作人員也懂得不多的英文.
於是, 在3小時課的break中, 和一個墨國同學談到我的沮喪, 說了一句,
'I don't know, the Customs and the immigration office are supposed to represent Mexico, to host foreigners and shape their very first impression of Mexico. but such language barrier doesn't welcome us. '
同學無言了, 只好說, "yep, we are working on it."
看著他的困窘,我頓覺自己的失言. 什麼時候開始,我們用英文作為是進步,達標,國際化的代表?
用那一種,"我來這,是對你國家的幫忙,是看得起你的表現." , 顧客心態去消費貧窮,消費該國的紙醉金迷, 真的shame on myself.
Spanish is widely spoken in Latin America, except Brazil speaks Portuguese and Haiti speaks French.
why do they have to feel shame about their limited language?
and why shouldn't visitors/tourists like me, reflect on our ignorance over such richness and the way locals take pride on their heritage?
那種的不忿不過是為自己的無能 找代罪羔羊罷了.
話雖這麼說,如果他們能說英文的話, life will be a lot easier and of course, allowing cultural exchange a lot richer and fruitful.
"la factura?" (the bill)
為了表現自己的有禮貌, 加了一句, "por favor".
坐在我身邊的男人開口了,大概是, 外國學生來到這裡學會的只有三個西班牙文,
1. gracias, (thank you)
2. por favor, (please)
3.la cerveza (beer)
他說得很平淡,但卻帶點嘲諷的意味. 不過, 我可不懂"la cerveza", 但我知道什麼是"martini" 和"tequila". 哈哈.
--------
然後是去學校電腦室找技術員,問了一句, "habla ingles?" (speak english?)
他帶點憤怒地說, "no ingles, aqui Mexico." (no english, here is mexico)
然後用我那爛透了的西班牙文去溝通.
--------
去immigration office 辦學生簽證, 那裡的工作人員很少懂得英文, 甚至在monterrey air port 過海關, 那裡的工作人員也懂得不多的英文.
於是, 在3小時課的break中, 和一個墨國同學談到我的沮喪, 說了一句,
'I don't know, the Customs and the immigration office are supposed to represent Mexico, to host foreigners and shape their very first impression of Mexico. but such language barrier doesn't welcome us. '
同學無言了, 只好說, "yep, we are working on it."
看著他的困窘,我頓覺自己的失言. 什麼時候開始,我們用英文作為是進步,達標,國際化的代表?
用那一種,"我來這,是對你國家的幫忙,是看得起你的表現." , 顧客心態去消費貧窮,消費該國的紙醉金迷, 真的shame on myself.
Spanish is widely spoken in Latin America, except Brazil speaks Portuguese and Haiti speaks French.
why do they have to feel shame about their limited language?
and why shouldn't visitors/tourists like me, reflect on our ignorance over such richness and the way locals take pride on their heritage?
那種的不忿不過是為自己的無能 找代罪羔羊罷了.
話雖這麼說,如果他們能說英文的話, life will be a lot easier and of course, allowing cultural exchange a lot richer and fruitful.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
厭倦了面書的互動, 讓人在不知不覺中掉入,把自我值與回應多少/好壞掛勾,當然, 不可能丟棄面書, 不過,不會像以前那樣用很多時間去 經營.可有表達自己的需要,於是走去了TWITTER, 一年前開了, 可一直丟空著.
可能因為功課很沉悶, 於是相隔不久便寫一些. 有點可悲,但喜歡這種的隨性.
不必有人在乎,只是自說自話,又可以看很多新的資訊,簡單, 快捷.
一些TWEETS:
"想寫字,寫好多好多的字. 一方面想只是孤芳自賞,另一方面又想有人知道,有人在乎,人就是這樣的矛盾.不過,擁有寫字的能力是快樂的,可以寫字是快樂的,寫字是快樂的.不用像面書 那樣,在乎著別人的反應.人是應該快樂的."
"很討厭在短時間內囫圇吞棗吃下一大堆資料, 然後不明所以地去PRESENT. 而且當中的事實根本沒有經證實. 別跟我說constraint maximization,真他媽的混帳. 又通頂了, 可沒有什麼得著. 唉..."
"終於完成了Present.一直地擔心,其實到最後, 根本是只有教授一個人在聽.雖然亂七八糟的, 不過完成了.一直覺得TEC的學生很厲害,讀萬卷書,其實讀很多書不難,一頁一頁地看就是了,看懂一本書才是難事.他們看很多,可真正讀懂的少,而且忘記 得更多.只能說是學海無涯,要好好地學."
可能因為功課很沉悶, 於是相隔不久便寫一些. 有點可悲,但喜歡這種的隨性.
不必有人在乎,只是自說自話,又可以看很多新的資訊,簡單, 快捷.
一些TWEETS:
"想寫字,寫好多好多的字. 一方面想只是孤芳自賞,另一方面又想有人知道,有人在乎,人就是這樣的矛盾.不過,擁有寫字的能力是快樂的,可以寫字是快樂的,寫字是快樂的.不用像面書 那樣,在乎著別人的反應.人是應該快樂的."
"很討厭在短時間內囫圇吞棗吃下一大堆資料, 然後不明所以地去PRESENT. 而且當中的事實根本沒有經證實. 別跟我說constraint maximization,真他媽的混帳. 又通頂了, 可沒有什麼得著. 唉..."
"終於完成了Present.一直地擔心,其實到最後, 根本是只有教授一個人在聽.雖然亂七八糟的, 不過完成了.一直覺得TEC的學生很厲害,讀萬卷書,其實讀很多書不難,一頁一頁地看就是了,看懂一本書才是難事.他們看很多,可真正讀懂的少,而且忘記 得更多.只能說是學海無涯,要好好地學."
Monday, October 25, 2010
文化溝通
想寫很多字, 可是時間不允許. 在墨國的義工英文班, 因為不太滿意組員的不負責任,寫了一封電郵,表達自己的意見,得到的回應是,我太不近人情/通情達理, 跟其他外國學生一樣,把自己當成墨國的救世主...
走坦白與收斂的鋼線...
或許只能怪自己的不善言辭/辭不達意...
當中的文化對話 讓我Emo 了一整個週未.
--------------------
"To be frank, I am quite disappointed with what we did last week.
all were so impromptus, yep. we made it, and it seemed that teachers were quite involved. but what do they get in the end?
Demonstrating such teaching experience, they already have hands-on experience. some of them are working, some of them are teaching on trial.
they drive half an hour or travel for a long way, just for such class activity, If i were them, I would be frustrated.
I really hope we can be more prepared for the lecture, not only for the future of Mexican education, but also as a responsible individual. yep, all of us have different commitments. but do remember, the English Class for Normalista is one of such commitments.
(I know Mexicans don't express their 'negative' feelings openly. but I am a Hong Kong Chinese, I believe an effective communication should be knowing what each one of us thinks.)
"
------------------------
Dear Chau,
Thanks for your suggestions and comments, even so and showing you that not all mexicans Do Not express our"negative" feelings opnely, but its because we wanna handle situations with respect and smartly, i would like to stress some points.
* I agree we need to improve our class, and i agree we can do better, but we also must cosider we are not Professinal teachers, like them, we are trying without a guide to do it.
* I dont think it´s good to go to another country and judge our commitment if you dont really know what is behind every individual, but i have noticed foreigners come to Mexico, and feel like in a zoo, judging and trying to save the word, sorry we are not those great economies, which dont have poornes, problems, or these kind of issues, But we have great thinhs, as mexicans, we are happy, more than it seems, and great feelings, and hope, and desire to improve and get that our country is a better place for us.
* And we all can frustations, things happens, but also, its our responsability to get over.
Dont take it personal, but we all have things to do, priorities, and commitments to acomplish.
Have a nice day, and thanks for contributing in MÉXICO.
Daniel
-------------------
Dear Daniel,
Thanks for your openness. I highly appreciate that. Which at least sheds lights on what happened the communication between two cultures.
* Professional teaching is not demanded but the heart counts.
what I am trying to point out is that as an organizer, being unprepared for the lecture is something unwanted and avoidable. it is about attitude towards the issue. Being unprofessional in terms of skills can be accepted. but being Unprofessional in ATTITUDE, that's something inexcusable.
*the previous email is nothing against Mexico or whatever you might interpret.
there may be different reasons behind actions and inactions, but most of the time, actions and inactions shape people's perceptions, and perceptions is reality.
By no means, I hold the legitimacy to present myself as a savior of Mexico. the reason for my to join voluntary program is same as I did in Hong Kong. To live and learn.
of course, it is true that 'much is given, much is expected.' to certain extent, there is a hierarchical relationship between the volunteers and the service beneficent. Yet, more important as a volunteer is, 'giving is receiving'. I am honored to be trusted by those teachers, being shared with their innermost emotions; humbled by their strength / desire, making every means possible to achieve what they want.
I don't know by which way I behave makes me to fall into your 'foreigner-self-regarded-savior' stereotype. Anyway, hereby I want to clear out that, such stereotype doesn't work for me. I absolutely agree with what you have pointed out, the positivity, the strength and element of 'Hope' have embedded into Mexicans. I am impressed, and salute for such life-fighter spirit.
Every country has its own problems, US, look at its slow discovery from the credit crunch, UK, just announced 50,000 job cutting....
By no means, Mexico has to demean itself in the face of so-called 'great economies'.
sometimes, It is the self-demeaning mentality that generates victimization.
* yes, people have different priorities, but it doesn't mean that they can forgo one which constitutes the integrity of responsibility shouldered upon.
Have a nice weekend.
Chau
-----------------
He didn't reply. Instead, He wrote on his facebook status.
Mi conciencia tiene para mí más peso que la opinión de todo el mundo." Marco Tulio Cicerón.
My conscience got to me more weight than the opinion of the whole world. "Marcus Tullius Cicero.
hmmm....
走坦白與收斂的鋼線...
或許只能怪自己的不善言辭/辭不達意...
當中的文化對話 讓我Emo 了一整個週未.
--------------------
"To be frank, I am quite disappointed with what we did last week.
all were so impromptus, yep. we made it, and it seemed that teachers were quite involved. but what do they get in the end?
Demonstrating such teaching experience, they already have hands-on experience. some of them are working, some of them are teaching on trial.
they drive half an hour or travel for a long way, just for such class activity, If i were them, I would be frustrated.
I really hope we can be more prepared for the lecture, not only for the future of Mexican education, but also as a responsible individual. yep, all of us have different commitments. but do remember, the English Class for Normalista is one of such commitments.
(I know Mexicans don't express their 'negative' feelings openly. but I am a Hong Kong Chinese, I believe an effective communication should be knowing what each one of us thinks.)
"
------------------------
Dear Chau,
Thanks for your suggestions and comments, even so and showing you that not all mexicans Do Not express our"negative" feelings opnely, but its because we wanna handle situations with respect and smartly, i would like to stress some points.
* I agree we need to improve our class, and i agree we can do better, but we also must cosider we are not Professinal teachers, like them, we are trying without a guide to do it.
* I dont think it´s good to go to another country and judge our commitment if you dont really know what is behind every individual, but i have noticed foreigners come to Mexico, and feel like in a zoo, judging and trying to save the word, sorry we are not those great economies, which dont have poornes, problems, or these kind of issues, But we have great thinhs, as mexicans, we are happy, more than it seems, and great feelings, and hope, and desire to improve and get that our country is a better place for us.
* And we all can frustations, things happens, but also, its our responsability to get over.
Dont take it personal, but we all have things to do, priorities, and commitments to acomplish.
Have a nice day, and thanks for contributing in MÉXICO.
Daniel
-------------------
Dear Daniel,
Thanks for your openness. I highly appreciate that. Which at least sheds lights on what happened the communication between two cultures.
* Professional teaching is not demanded but the heart counts.
what I am trying to point out is that as an organizer, being unprepared for the lecture is something unwanted and avoidable. it is about attitude towards the issue. Being unprofessional in terms of skills can be accepted. but being Unprofessional in ATTITUDE, that's something inexcusable.
*the previous email is nothing against Mexico or whatever you might interpret.
there may be different reasons behind actions and inactions, but most of the time, actions and inactions shape people's perceptions, and perceptions is reality.
By no means, I hold the legitimacy to present myself as a savior of Mexico. the reason for my to join voluntary program is same as I did in Hong Kong. To live and learn.
of course, it is true that 'much is given, much is expected.' to certain extent, there is a hierarchical relationship between the volunteers and the service beneficent. Yet, more important as a volunteer is, 'giving is receiving'. I am honored to be trusted by those teachers, being shared with their innermost emotions; humbled by their strength / desire, making every means possible to achieve what they want.
I don't know by which way I behave makes me to fall into your 'foreigner-self-regarded-savior' stereotype. Anyway, hereby I want to clear out that, such stereotype doesn't work for me. I absolutely agree with what you have pointed out, the positivity, the strength and element of 'Hope' have embedded into Mexicans. I am impressed, and salute for such life-fighter spirit.
Every country has its own problems, US, look at its slow discovery from the credit crunch, UK, just announced 50,000 job cutting....
By no means, Mexico has to demean itself in the face of so-called 'great economies'.
sometimes, It is the self-demeaning mentality that generates victimization.
* yes, people have different priorities, but it doesn't mean that they can forgo one which constitutes the integrity of responsibility shouldered upon.
Have a nice weekend.
Chau
-----------------
He didn't reply. Instead, He wrote on his facebook status.
Mi conciencia tiene para mí más peso que la opinión de todo el mundo." Marco Tulio Cicerón.
My conscience got to me more weight than the opinion of the whole world. "Marcus Tullius Cicero.
hmmm....
Saturday, October 16, 2010
生命鬧劇
(文章本應兩星期前寫, 可是因為考試, 因為有其他活動, 拖到今天才寫)
一切都很surreal.
槍擊案在monterrey越來越嚴重,10月5日的一個平凡的下午, 在校園外, 發生了槍擊, 而且更有傳言說,有炸彈襲擊. 校方立刻關閉了校門,不讓人進出. 一片人心惶惶.
第二天,學校開了一個security meeting for international students.
"we need information."
學校寄了電郵給交換生的home uni, 而交換生在兩天後收到自己大學的電郵, 才知道發生了什麼事.
"it is ridiculous. we are the students who are affected, what's the use of notifying our uni and thorough our Uni to tell us what has happened 2 days later. " an international student said,
"we need information. I was on my way to school, yet the school was closed." an other said.
"at least, we need to be informed what happened, where to stay, if the school is going to close, at least, someone should inform us beforehand."
校方發言人連聲道歉. "that's why we are holding a security meeting to inform you what's going on."
"what's the use of it? huh? same meeting on the same issue held 2 months ago. what have you done? we complained the same policy, 2 months later, it is still the same. tell me, what have you done?"
那校方發言人無言了.
另一校方發言人嘗試去解釋, 卻自取其辱.
"Maria can testify, when it (the shooting / the close of the school entrance) happened, I was in my office, around 6 pm. I was going to bathroom before leaving. and a security guard told me there was a shooting and the school was closing the entrance.I really didn't know what happened."
台下一片嘩然.
"then who ordered to close the gate?"
"apparently, it is an internal bureaucratic chaos. They don't even know what they were doing. damn."
然後是, 不同的建議要求校方開放資訊. facebook page, twitter...
有人要求reliable sources, 有人覺得不可行, 有人說, "I don't mind unreliable sources, at least let me know what's going on. even false."
看著那些校方發言人的困窘, 看著那些交換生的咄咄逼人, 很他媽的超現實.
對不起, 兩方面都不想幫.
是的, 校方的bureaucracy, 真他媽的麻煩, 這個部門推那個部門, 把問題推來推去, 又不肯改, 該罵.
而某些交換生, 擺出一副 "我來這裏交流是看得起你" 的姿態, 一副高人一等的嘴臉, 真他媽的屁股眼.
最後, 校方發言人提出一個方案, 交換生可以用online 方式完成課程, 意思是,學生可以離開墨國, 至少是離開monterrey. 但他們很聰明地加了一個條件, Provided that "you have obtained all your professors' approval." 把球踢給了另一個部門.
兩星期後的今天, 那些教授面對學生的要求, 說, "我不知道, 沒有人跟我說過當中的措施'.
又或者, "you talk to my boss (the department head). if my boss says 'yes, then you can go. '"
看著這一場的鬧劇, 真的感到, 他媽的超現實.
借朋友的一句 "荒謬世界需要黑色幽默。"
一切都很surreal.
槍擊案在monterrey越來越嚴重,10月5日的一個平凡的下午, 在校園外, 發生了槍擊, 而且更有傳言說,有炸彈襲擊. 校方立刻關閉了校門,不讓人進出. 一片人心惶惶.
第二天,學校開了一個security meeting for international students.
"we need information."
學校寄了電郵給交換生的home uni, 而交換生在兩天後收到自己大學的電郵, 才知道發生了什麼事.
"it is ridiculous. we are the students who are affected, what's the use of notifying our uni and thorough our Uni to tell us what has happened 2 days later. " an international student said,
"we need information. I was on my way to school, yet the school was closed." an other said.
"at least, we need to be informed what happened, where to stay, if the school is going to close, at least, someone should inform us beforehand."
校方發言人連聲道歉. "that's why we are holding a security meeting to inform you what's going on."
"what's the use of it? huh? same meeting on the same issue held 2 months ago. what have you done? we complained the same policy, 2 months later, it is still the same. tell me, what have you done?"
那校方發言人無言了.
另一校方發言人嘗試去解釋, 卻自取其辱.
"Maria can testify, when it (the shooting / the close of the school entrance) happened, I was in my office, around 6 pm. I was going to bathroom before leaving. and a security guard told me there was a shooting and the school was closing the entrance.I really didn't know what happened."
台下一片嘩然.
"then who ordered to close the gate?"
"apparently, it is an internal bureaucratic chaos. They don't even know what they were doing. damn."
然後是, 不同的建議要求校方開放資訊. facebook page, twitter...
有人要求reliable sources, 有人覺得不可行, 有人說, "I don't mind unreliable sources, at least let me know what's going on. even false."
看著那些校方發言人的困窘, 看著那些交換生的咄咄逼人, 很他媽的超現實.
對不起, 兩方面都不想幫.
是的, 校方的bureaucracy, 真他媽的麻煩, 這個部門推那個部門, 把問題推來推去, 又不肯改, 該罵.
而某些交換生, 擺出一副 "我來這裏交流是看得起你" 的姿態, 一副高人一等的嘴臉, 真他媽的屁股眼.
最後, 校方發言人提出一個方案, 交換生可以用online 方式完成課程, 意思是,學生可以離開墨國, 至少是離開monterrey. 但他們很聰明地加了一個條件, Provided that "you have obtained all your professors' approval." 把球踢給了另一個部門.
兩星期後的今天, 那些教授面對學生的要求, 說, "我不知道, 沒有人跟我說過當中的措施'.
又或者, "you talk to my boss (the department head). if my boss says 'yes, then you can go. '"
看著這一場的鬧劇, 真的感到, 他媽的超現實.
借朋友的一句 "荒謬世界需要黑色幽默。"
Thursday, October 14, 2010
還有別的辦法嗎?
因為槍擊,牽涉的人命越來越廣,一直只是有關的販毒集團和警方, 這些利益者之間的爭戰, 可是最近在monterrey的槍戰已危害到一般的平民大眾.
大家都戰戰兢兢地活著, 除了把[萬事小心]掛在口中, 其實能做的也不多.
然後便是有關交流生的去留問題.
除了明顯的安全考慮外,我很佩服的幾位來自捷克的同學, 她們說,在TEC學習不了什麼, 好像是在浪費時間.
佩服她們是在文化課上, 她們的見解開了我的視野, 她們可以看到歐洲文化如何影響著拉美, 而又如何可以從現象中去看歐洲文化的墮落, 像在談巴拉圭的一個部落文化,原來當中竟有一位是捷克的貴族, 在幾年前去世了, 可是至死也保留著當中, "我是來自文明社會, 我是白人", Which can reflect the social hierarchy in latin america. 她們除了捷克語外, 還會西班牙語, 葡萄牙語, 德語, 真的很厲害.
不知道是不是因為TEC緊湊的學習時間表, 一下子喂你吃很多, 以至消化不良,不能吸收, 所以她們覺得學不到什麼,.. (大概只是我把自己投射到她們身上)所以想離開...
不過另一位同學則指出, 在這裡太多Readings了, 而教授又用測驗的方法去驅使學生閱讀, 受不了這種家長式的教育, 也不想做. 她覺得readings沒有用, 看了readings, 那上堂來幹嘛?
可是, 這不是學習的一種嗎? 你讀readings, 上課討論, 在討論中互相啟發, 她那種, 教授上堂講, spoon-feeding的 mentality又何嘗不是一種的損失? 失去了互相討論/爭辯, 互相學習的機會...
究竟大學學習／教授方法該如何?
這群 twenty-something 學生又該如何去為自己定位?
大家都戰戰兢兢地活著, 除了把[萬事小心]掛在口中, 其實能做的也不多.
然後便是有關交流生的去留問題.
除了明顯的安全考慮外,我很佩服的幾位來自捷克的同學, 她們說,在TEC學習不了什麼, 好像是在浪費時間.
佩服她們是在文化課上, 她們的見解開了我的視野, 她們可以看到歐洲文化如何影響著拉美, 而又如何可以從現象中去看歐洲文化的墮落, 像在談巴拉圭的一個部落文化,原來當中竟有一位是捷克的貴族, 在幾年前去世了, 可是至死也保留著當中, "我是來自文明社會, 我是白人", Which can reflect the social hierarchy in latin america. 她們除了捷克語外, 還會西班牙語, 葡萄牙語, 德語, 真的很厲害.
不知道是不是因為TEC緊湊的學習時間表, 一下子喂你吃很多, 以至消化不良,不能吸收, 所以她們覺得學不到什麼,.. (大概只是我把自己投射到她們身上)所以想離開...
不過另一位同學則指出, 在這裡太多Readings了, 而教授又用測驗的方法去驅使學生閱讀, 受不了這種家長式的教育, 也不想做. 她覺得readings沒有用, 看了readings, 那上堂來幹嘛?
可是, 這不是學習的一種嗎? 你讀readings, 上課討論, 在討論中互相啟發, 她那種, 教授上堂講, spoon-feeding的 mentality又何嘗不是一種的損失? 失去了互相討論/爭辯, 互相學習的機會...
究竟大學學習／教授方法該如何?
這群 twenty-something 學生又該如何去為自己定位?
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Human Touch
終於明白當中的情緒低潮的原因, 除了M前綜合症外, 還有就是少了一種Human Touch.
這裡的人生是, 每天7點多走路上學, 上課, 上完課, 然後去圖書館用電腦, 讀Readings, 上拳擊課,上課, 放學, 回家, 吃飯...星期六去做義工, 星期日做功課...
和host mum, housemate 談一兩句, 回房, 上網, 看readings...
有時真的很孤獨...
人是social animals, 總不能活在這種狀況下, I have the need to talk, chit-chat doesn't count. it is just, sometimes, we need time to talk about life, relationship....
Jacintha, 經常碰面, 一星期五天, 有時 run out of discussion topics, 有時想逃...
是的, 那種dispensible, 沒有價值, 不知該把心和身放在哪裡的無重感,有時叫人抓狂...
在這裡也有13個香港學生, 可他們都住宿舍, 而且因為遲了一個星期來墨國, 沒能打入他們的圈子...住host family 的兩個HKU學生, Ayo overloaded himself with 6 courses, no time for the meeting.
Luke, err...
總之就是很難找一個可以談得來的人....
---------
下午, 上完課, Jacintha 陪我去買coffee, 她說, "I feel like talking to somebody." 大概是這個星期都沒怎麼交談, 我答應了她的談天邀請.
然後我們便坐在學校門口的草地上, 夕陽的餘輝灑在我們身上, 看著近處的車水馬龍, 望著遠方的天空, 想起昨天的槍擊, 談著人生, 而想起昨天附近的槍擊, 我們都不約而同地談到了死亡,
" there are gunmen lurking around, and accidentally shot us to death."我打趣.
"ha, it was such a nice death. with beautiful sunset, and to die with you. haha" she said.
然後又談到往事.
她說, 在大一時, 曾成立一個society, raising money to give out scholarship for poor Indian students in her university, to run cheap tutorial classes for A-level students... she was responsible for the fund-raising.
with such mission, she came to meet the "Big Shots" in Singapore, like Lawyers, high-ranking officials, bankers, she alone raised 300,000 HK.
but with the internal power struggles in the society, the money raised was misused, and due to her outspoken personality, she was badmouthed, all her effort went un-noticed....
she has still been haunted by the feeling demoralized and discouraged from such incident....
談了40分鐘, 我去上森巴舞,很clumsy, 但出了一身汗, 正能量多了. 之後,同學說, 有一個籌款活動, 捐20 PESO, 跑3K, 再集體跳森巴...
沒有帶運動鞋, 赤腳跑...
不知怎得, 又好像生活有力了....
這裡的人生是, 每天7點多走路上學, 上課, 上完課, 然後去圖書館用電腦, 讀Readings, 上拳擊課,上課, 放學, 回家, 吃飯...星期六去做義工, 星期日做功課...
和host mum, housemate 談一兩句, 回房, 上網, 看readings...
有時真的很孤獨...
人是social animals, 總不能活在這種狀況下, I have the need to talk, chit-chat doesn't count. it is just, sometimes, we need time to talk about life, relationship....
Jacintha, 經常碰面, 一星期五天, 有時 run out of discussion topics, 有時想逃...
是的, 那種dispensible, 沒有價值, 不知該把心和身放在哪裡的無重感,有時叫人抓狂...
在這裡也有13個香港學生, 可他們都住宿舍, 而且因為遲了一個星期來墨國, 沒能打入他們的圈子...住host family 的兩個HKU學生, Ayo overloaded himself with 6 courses, no time for the meeting.
Luke, err...
總之就是很難找一個可以談得來的人....
---------
下午, 上完課, Jacintha 陪我去買coffee, 她說, "I feel like talking to somebody." 大概是這個星期都沒怎麼交談, 我答應了她的談天邀請.
然後我們便坐在學校門口的草地上, 夕陽的餘輝灑在我們身上, 看著近處的車水馬龍, 望著遠方的天空, 想起昨天的槍擊, 談著人生, 而想起昨天附近的槍擊, 我們都不約而同地談到了死亡,
" there are gunmen lurking around, and accidentally shot us to death."我打趣.
"ha, it was such a nice death. with beautiful sunset, and to die with you. haha" she said.
然後又談到往事.
她說, 在大一時, 曾成立一個society, raising money to give out scholarship for poor Indian students in her university, to run cheap tutorial classes for A-level students... she was responsible for the fund-raising.
with such mission, she came to meet the "Big Shots" in Singapore, like Lawyers, high-ranking officials, bankers, she alone raised 300,000 HK.
but with the internal power struggles in the society, the money raised was misused, and due to her outspoken personality, she was badmouthed, all her effort went un-noticed....
she has still been haunted by the feeling demoralized and discouraged from such incident....
談了40分鐘, 我去上森巴舞,很clumsy, 但出了一身汗, 正能量多了. 之後,同學說, 有一個籌款活動, 捐20 PESO, 跑3K, 再集體跳森巴...
沒有帶運動鞋, 赤腳跑...
不知怎得, 又好像生活有力了....
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
listening
最近喜歡的一首...
恭碩良---life
life is not fair... life is not fair....
難免, 在人生低潮時, 總是抱怨很多, 怨當中的先天不足, 怨人生路比人難走...
不過, 路還是要走下去...
想起中學時一位中文老師用post-tip 寫的一段:
需多一點的信心, 多一點的智慧與更多的謙卑,去面對生命中的冷水暖流.
恭碩良---life
life is not fair... life is not fair....
難免, 在人生低潮時, 總是抱怨很多, 怨當中的先天不足, 怨人生路比人難走...
不過, 路還是要走下去...
想起中學時一位中文老師用post-tip 寫的一段:
很老生常談, 過程比結果重要.生命中充滿了許多笑與淚, 苦與樂, 你一路走來, 走得踏實, 也叫人驕傲
需多一點的信心, 多一點的智慧與更多的謙卑,去面對生命中的冷水暖流.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Random
因為旅行, 戒了一個星期的電腦, 回來後, 一連看了一整天的新聞, 覺得自己很無知, 世界很大, 而自己的知識是如此地貧乏, 有一種知識貧乏焦慮症. 又想到自己在兩年的大學生涯, 看的readings 很少, being a year3 student, feel like intellectually ignorant, 而這裏的學生的視野很廣 (起碼有大半班的local politics students ), 不但知道墨國的事, 近至美國,加拿大 (coz of the NAFTA free trade among the three countries), 遠至中東, 甚至亞洲, 泰國是亞洲唯一沒有成為殖民地的國家, 他們都知道...更是覺得自己的無知....
知恥近乎勇,於是很努力地讀 readings, but damn, everyday 40 pages, life is not sustainable, and it really leaves me no time for Spanish. To make it worse, due to sleep deprivation, the effectiveness and efficiency of my reading process is poor.
I could not recall or link all the stuffs together during the discussion. 5 hours for 30-page long reading....
人變得易燥,而且對自己的力有不逮既恨又無奈... anti-social syndrome sets in.
-----
心情不太好的時候, 我喜歡去剪頭髮.
墨國的太陽很勤奮, 下午6點了, 還是辣辣地掛在半空. 上完課後, 去了一家朋友介紹的理髪店. 店鋪只有一個人, 店主是一個看上去60多的老伯, 不高, 行動有點緩慢, 會說英文, 很友善.
他慢慢地幫我洗頭,不時有水花濺在我的臉上, 客人是坐在椅子上,把頭往後靠在盥盆上, 雖然只是短短幾分鐘, 可辛苦了我的脖子.
在他給我的髪型雜誌中選了一個短髮.
他把書放在座位旁, 看著幫我剪.
他說, 他來自墨國南部一個美麗的城市, beautiful scenery yet life is hard. 跟中國一樣, 墨國也有地區發展不平均的情況, 墨國是南窮北富 而南面卻又是文化/種族最多元化的地區, 古老的瑪雅文明便在墨國的南部, 還有鄰國 Guatemala, Belize, Honduras.
他說,他來monterrey 有30年了.
他說,他喜歡剪頭髮, to him, hair-cutting is form of art.
他說, 他在大學時, 讀的便是arts, 而剪頭髮是其中一個Course.
他說, he has one brother and one sister. His brother is operating another salon in another district. His sister is a social worker in a University.
他打了個呵欠, 問他是不是累了, 他回答, "I am just a bit restless these days. you know, the end of the month, people run out of money. but, tomorrow, hope tomorrow will be different."
Hope for Tomorrow.
Despite today's unpleasant circumstances, as long as there is hope for the future, people can still carry on. and Mexican people have hope.
想起在國慶前, 有同學問,with regard to the current drug wars, 為什麼墨國不停止慶祝活動, 西班牙老師的一句, "we have got a life to live, we can't stop enjoying life. "
The word of the day: Hope
Learn to be hopeful and we have got a life to live.
帶著一個袁詠儀在<金枝玉葉>的頭開心回家.
知恥近乎勇,於是很努力地讀 readings, but damn, everyday 40 pages, life is not sustainable, and it really leaves me no time for Spanish. To make it worse, due to sleep deprivation, the effectiveness and efficiency of my reading process is poor.
I could not recall or link all the stuffs together during the discussion. 5 hours for 30-page long reading....
人變得易燥,而且對自己的力有不逮既恨又無奈... anti-social syndrome sets in.
-----
心情不太好的時候, 我喜歡去剪頭髮.
墨國的太陽很勤奮, 下午6點了, 還是辣辣地掛在半空. 上完課後, 去了一家朋友介紹的理髪店. 店鋪只有一個人, 店主是一個看上去60多的老伯, 不高, 行動有點緩慢, 會說英文, 很友善.
他慢慢地幫我洗頭,不時有水花濺在我的臉上, 客人是坐在椅子上,把頭往後靠在盥盆上, 雖然只是短短幾分鐘, 可辛苦了我的脖子.
在他給我的髪型雜誌中選了一個短髮.
他把書放在座位旁, 看著幫我剪.
他說, 他來自墨國南部一個美麗的城市, beautiful scenery yet life is hard. 跟中國一樣, 墨國也有地區發展不平均的情況, 墨國是南窮北富 而南面卻又是文化/種族最多元化的地區, 古老的瑪雅文明便在墨國的南部, 還有鄰國 Guatemala, Belize, Honduras.
他說,他來monterrey 有30年了.
他說,他喜歡剪頭髮, to him, hair-cutting is form of art.
他說, 他在大學時, 讀的便是arts, 而剪頭髮是其中一個Course.
他說, he has one brother and one sister. His brother is operating another salon in another district. His sister is a social worker in a University.
他打了個呵欠, 問他是不是累了, 他回答, "I am just a bit restless these days. you know, the end of the month, people run out of money. but, tomorrow, hope tomorrow will be different."
Hope for Tomorrow.
Despite today's unpleasant circumstances, as long as there is hope for the future, people can still carry on. and Mexican people have hope.
想起在國慶前, 有同學問,with regard to the current drug wars, 為什麼墨國不停止慶祝活動, 西班牙老師的一句, "we have got a life to live, we can't stop enjoying life. "
The word of the day: Hope
Learn to be hopeful and we have got a life to live.
帶著一個袁詠儀在<金枝玉葉>的頭開心回家.
Monday, September 20, 2010
雜記
因為墨國慶祝她獨立200週年,於是逃了2天課, 在星期一的晚上乘overnight bus 離開所在的城市---Monterrey, 與3個新加坡學生一起去Zacatecas, Guadalajara y Guanajuato.
3個新加坡學生, 一個是Jacintha, 一個是Leon, 一個是從內地到新加坡讀書的maoching. 其實所有的行程都是Leon 和Maoching 計劃的, 我喜歡做 free rider. 他們的西班牙文好嘛, much is given, much is expected. 其實我們也是去了當地, 然後到當地的Tourism office 拿地圖和問職員, 該去哪裡; 又或者是問我們的hostel 老闆, 有什麼好推介, 再經衡量去想去的地方. 很隨性,也很舒服.
太多感覺, 很難把它們好好地組織起來,以自己那種professionist 的態度一定會把entry一拖再拖,怕記憶經不起在年月流逝的考驗. 所以寫一篇隨筆吧. 有空的時候再出賣友人的 juicy故事.
-------
之前寫, 墨國很少人乘巴士, 而且不安全; 經過這趟旅行後,改觀了.
我們去不同的城市, 乘坐的都是巴士. 很安全, 你可以一覺睡到終點. 不用怕打劫, 也不用怕有人會偷竊.
墨國的長途巴士分3個等級.
最高級的, 像是飛機的商務客位, 軟座, 有獨立耳塞,可自動換台, (可選擇看電影, 或是不同的電台), 有腳墊, 總之就是舒服二字.
第二級, 軟座, 沒有獨立耳塞, 沒有腳墊, 只能選擇看電影與否,其實也沒有選擇, 因為無論你看不看,電影都播放著.
第三級,硬座, 什麼也沒有...
因為隨性而行,到巴士總站隨便選一家巴士公司買票,結果我們乘搭了三種巴士.
------
不懂西班牙文真的是一個很大的問題, most of tour guides in museums speak in Spanish, illustrations and explanation of the exhibitions are in Spanish, 言語問題, 很難和這些城市, 這個國家和這裏的人談戀愛.曾看過一篇文章, 說的是兩個言語不通的人愛上了對方, 然後靠翻譯字典談了一輩子的戀愛, 作者慨嘆當中的戀愛疲倦. 可是經此一遊, 倒是在想, 若沒有內容, 又怎能戀一世的愛? 雖然疲倦, 也說明了大家去彼此的在乎. 畢竟一段關係還是要好好地經營的....
-------
在這裏買東西, 人們不習慣討價還價.明碼實價,喜歡就買, 不喜歡就拉倒.
若你真的很喜歡, 又覺得太貴, 便露出一臉的喜歡, 再帶點遺憾的表情, 店主便會主動把價錢降至他/她覺得可以的價錢. 「一走了之」的壓價方法是行不通的.
我喜歡這種mentality,省卻了不少麻煩, 也不會有因為還價能力低而導致「唉呀, 買貴了」的遺憾.墨國人就有這種樂天知命, 隨遇而安的性格, 當中的正能量也感染著我們.
-----
墨國是一個很浪漫的地方, 人們隨地擁吻, 在公園, 在廣場, 在巴士站, 一切都是那麼自然. 最深刻的一幕是在一個叫 kissing valley 的地方, 一位老伯在群眾的嘩叫中, 吻了他圍著頭巾的老伴.
kissing valley 是一個墨國版的Romeo-and-Juliet 故事. (according to Maoqing)
一個窮礦工和一個富家千金在教堂彌撒中一見鍾情, 可是千金的爸爸不允許, 要女兒要麼嫁給西班牙的一個有錢老頭, 要麼給軟禁在一間獨立的屋子內. 女子選了後者.
礦工後來掘到金子, 成了有錢人, 便在富家千金的屋子旁蓋了另一暑房子, 由於兩間房子很近的關係, 兩人可以隔著陽台接吻.
好景不常, 千金的爸爸發現了,在一番的爭論中, 千金死在父親的槍下.....
留給世人的教訓是:
如果你跟情人到此, 一定要在kissing valley kiss each other, then you will have 5-year good luck or else, you will have 6-year bad luck...
and indeed , lots of people were queuing for such KISS. and the old couple are one of those.
---------
Music is a universal language, sports are a universal language. One mexican guy told me that Kiss and sex are universal languages too.
well, I have not turned into a slut yet....
3個新加坡學生, 一個是Jacintha, 一個是Leon, 一個是從內地到新加坡讀書的maoching. 其實所有的行程都是Leon 和Maoching 計劃的, 我喜歡做 free rider. 他們的西班牙文好嘛, much is given, much is expected. 其實我們也是去了當地, 然後到當地的Tourism office 拿地圖和問職員, 該去哪裡; 又或者是問我們的hostel 老闆, 有什麼好推介, 再經衡量去想去的地方. 很隨性,也很舒服.
太多感覺, 很難把它們好好地組織起來,以自己那種professionist 的態度一定會把entry一拖再拖,怕記憶經不起在年月流逝的考驗. 所以寫一篇隨筆吧. 有空的時候再出賣友人的 juicy故事.
-------
之前寫, 墨國很少人乘巴士, 而且不安全; 經過這趟旅行後,改觀了.
我們去不同的城市, 乘坐的都是巴士. 很安全, 你可以一覺睡到終點. 不用怕打劫, 也不用怕有人會偷竊.
墨國的長途巴士分3個等級.
最高級的, 像是飛機的商務客位, 軟座, 有獨立耳塞,可自動換台, (可選擇看電影, 或是不同的電台), 有腳墊, 總之就是舒服二字.
第二級, 軟座, 沒有獨立耳塞, 沒有腳墊, 只能選擇看電影與否,其實也沒有選擇, 因為無論你看不看,電影都播放著.
第三級,硬座, 什麼也沒有...
因為隨性而行,到巴士總站隨便選一家巴士公司買票,結果我們乘搭了三種巴士.
------
不懂西班牙文真的是一個很大的問題, most of tour guides in museums speak in Spanish, illustrations and explanation of the exhibitions are in Spanish, 言語問題, 很難和這些城市, 這個國家和這裏的人談戀愛.曾看過一篇文章, 說的是兩個言語不通的人愛上了對方, 然後靠翻譯字典談了一輩子的戀愛, 作者慨嘆當中的戀愛疲倦. 可是經此一遊, 倒是在想, 若沒有內容, 又怎能戀一世的愛? 雖然疲倦, 也說明了大家去彼此的在乎. 畢竟一段關係還是要好好地經營的....
-------
在這裏買東西, 人們不習慣討價還價.明碼實價,喜歡就買, 不喜歡就拉倒.
若你真的很喜歡, 又覺得太貴, 便露出一臉的喜歡, 再帶點遺憾的表情, 店主便會主動把價錢降至他/她覺得可以的價錢. 「一走了之」的壓價方法是行不通的.
我喜歡這種mentality,省卻了不少麻煩, 也不會有因為還價能力低而導致「唉呀, 買貴了」的遺憾.墨國人就有這種樂天知命, 隨遇而安的性格, 當中的正能量也感染著我們.
-----
墨國是一個很浪漫的地方, 人們隨地擁吻, 在公園, 在廣場, 在巴士站, 一切都是那麼自然. 最深刻的一幕是在一個叫 kissing valley 的地方, 一位老伯在群眾的嘩叫中, 吻了他圍著頭巾的老伴.
kissing valley 是一個墨國版的Romeo-and-Juliet 故事. (according to Maoqing)
一個窮礦工和一個富家千金在教堂彌撒中一見鍾情, 可是千金的爸爸不允許, 要女兒要麼嫁給西班牙的一個有錢老頭, 要麼給軟禁在一間獨立的屋子內. 女子選了後者.
礦工後來掘到金子, 成了有錢人, 便在富家千金的屋子旁蓋了另一暑房子, 由於兩間房子很近的關係, 兩人可以隔著陽台接吻.
好景不常, 千金的爸爸發現了,在一番的爭論中, 千金死在父親的槍下.....
留給世人的教訓是:
如果你跟情人到此, 一定要在kissing valley kiss each other, then you will have 5-year good luck or else, you will have 6-year bad luck...
and indeed , lots of people were queuing for such KISS. and the old couple are one of those.
---------
Music is a universal language, sports are a universal language. One mexican guy told me that Kiss and sex are universal languages too.
well, I have not turned into a slut yet....
Monday, September 13, 2010
相信
被相信被肯定的感覺是幸福的. 要記下來, 不然怕記憶背叛了你我.
收到阿守的電郵, 他是在Papua New Guinea 遇見的一個25歲緬甸男生. 在PNG的其中一個城市遇見一個中年男人, 交談之下才發現他是 the President of PNG Burmese Association.打後的城市, 每當落泊、沒有落腳處時, 便向那個城市的burmese members 求助.
而遇見阿守, 是在回到capital Port Morseby的時侯, 而我們會在第二天的早上飛回香港. 那一晚, 那個bumese community, we ate together, we drank together, we sang, we danced, we smoke and we talked...
夜深了, 我們坐在一起, 談以前high school, 談未來, 他說, 他想成立一個教育基金, 去幫助緬甸學生, 因為只有教育可以改變思想,改變人生...
墨國經常在violance n shooting 的包圍中, 想起在PNG經歷著相同的他, 在農歷新年, 收到他的email, 告訴我, 有一群人到他工作的supermarket 打劫, 槍戰中, 一個保安受傷了.
便寫了一個電郵給他, 告訴他, I feel him.
and then he wrote back with encouragement attached.
感動極了.
* * *
Carol mama sent 了一個inbox message 給我, 她是catch magazine 的editor之一.
我跟她說,我很好, 總是遇到了好人. 而學習上, felt belittled coz those classmates are really talented and knowledgeable.
she wrote back:
或許是因為在一個單親家庭成長, 又因為在生命不同的浮萍奔波中, 外表堅強的自己其實很不安, 有時,別人的一個眼神, 一個舉動, all have a haunting effect on the peace of mind. feel like such imperfection can hamper the harmony of relationship, and then those people will just walk away from your life.
years later, if chance works in our turn, then we discuss , then we found out such discrepancy between our perceptions towards the specific incident, 才發現我們都錯過了彼此.
to avoid such Right Person, Right place, but Wrong time 的遺憾,所以很用心地對待每一個人.
可是苦了自己.所以可以遇到一個人/ 群體, 可以舒服做自己的機會不多.
想起前天的bungee jump. 雙手緊握的放不開, 想起昨天去mexico rural 跟local 同學討論, 之前Mexican perception of Chinese as Ugly, 一個同學大呼不是, 說,
"well, we make jokes out of Mexicans lots of times, we make fun out of many things. Maybe making fun out of Chinese is one of such."
直至下筆的現在,忽然明白了什麼, 是那種對"自我感覺良好"的執著, 是對完美自我的包裝. 是少了一種 nothing-to-lose 的勇氣.
people come and go and walk away, why cares so much ?
and why do I have to be perfect to be accepted?
If those people just walk away from you just because of small stain in your personality, should you put them in you heart ?
從今天起, 要做一個勇敢的黃秋娥. :)
收到阿守的電郵, 他是在Papua New Guinea 遇見的一個25歲緬甸男生. 在PNG的其中一個城市遇見一個中年男人, 交談之下才發現他是 the President of PNG Burmese Association.打後的城市, 每當落泊、沒有落腳處時, 便向那個城市的burmese members 求助.
而遇見阿守, 是在回到capital Port Morseby的時侯, 而我們會在第二天的早上飛回香港. 那一晚, 那個bumese community, we ate together, we drank together, we sang, we danced, we smoke and we talked...
夜深了, 我們坐在一起, 談以前high school, 談未來, 他說, 他想成立一個教育基金, 去幫助緬甸學生, 因為只有教育可以改變思想,改變人生...
墨國經常在violance n shooting 的包圍中, 想起在PNG經歷著相同的他, 在農歷新年, 收到他的email, 告訴我, 有一群人到他工作的supermarket 打劫, 槍戰中, 一個保安受傷了.
便寫了一個電郵給他, 告訴他, I feel him.
and then he wrote back with encouragement attached.
"don't give up to get your goal in your hands. now is really close n time for u to grab the opportunities around u. I believe from the start that you are very sharp n active to achieve even though lots of ups n downs awaiting. "
感動極了.
* * *
Carol mama sent 了一個inbox message 給我, 她是catch magazine 的editor之一.
我跟她說,我很好, 總是遇到了好人. 而學習上, felt belittled coz those classmates are really talented and knowledgeable.
she wrote back:
"i find the reason why ppl doing good to you,
it's because you are a really nice girl,
you are kind, nice and brave......
anyway, ppl can't help being good to you!"
* * *"Remember the parable of 1000, 2000, 5000 ?
the one gain another 2000, praised with the same words comparing the one gain another 5000. the point is, they are praised and affirmed for their attitude, "good and faithful" !!!
(to me, you are talented, really the one got 5000)
you are the kind of person, never "play-it-safe", which is precious in God's eyes ^^"
或許是因為在一個單親家庭成長, 又因為在生命不同的浮萍奔波中, 外表堅強的自己其實很不安, 有時,別人的一個眼神, 一個舉動, all have a haunting effect on the peace of mind. feel like such imperfection can hamper the harmony of relationship, and then those people will just walk away from your life.
years later, if chance works in our turn, then we discuss , then we found out such discrepancy between our perceptions towards the specific incident, 才發現我們都錯過了彼此.
to avoid such Right Person, Right place, but Wrong time 的遺憾,所以很用心地對待每一個人.
可是苦了自己.所以可以遇到一個人/ 群體, 可以舒服做自己的機會不多.
想起前天的bungee jump. 雙手緊握的放不開, 想起昨天去mexico rural 跟local 同學討論, 之前Mexican perception of Chinese as Ugly, 一個同學大呼不是, 說,
"well, we make jokes out of Mexicans lots of times, we make fun out of many things. Maybe making fun out of Chinese is one of such."
直至下筆的現在,忽然明白了什麼, 是那種對"自我感覺良好"的執著, 是對完美自我的包裝. 是少了一種 nothing-to-lose 的勇氣.
people come and go and walk away, why cares so much ?
and why do I have to be perfect to be accepted?
If those people just walk away from you just because of small stain in your personality, should you put them in you heart ?
從今天起, 要做一個勇敢的黃秋娥. :)
"只想做個家庭主婦"
上星期天,跟一個叫Estanfanny的女生談天.
她說, "People get into this University just for fame and fortune. But to be frank, I just want to marry to a good man, and be a good housewife."
心頭一震...為什麼會那麼吃驚呢?
TEC (Monterrey)是一間私立大學,也是墨國數一數二的名牌大學. 學生每個學期的學費大概是65,000 PESO.而學生一共要讀9個學期, 那是接近60萬PESO. 不少學生要借錢, 就算有scolarship 也要過著沒有人生的生活,study, study.然後是一畢業便work like a dog to repay the loan.
而EStanfanny 是交全費的學生. 然後,她說,她只想做一個家庭主婦, 一個60萬學歷的主婦.
可是,誰說不可以?
誰說,讀書就一定要幹出點什麼來?
誰又說,家庭主婦可以不問學歷?
她說,她之前想做一個廚師,學費是50,000/SEM. 而父母說, 如果她一定要讀大學, 又一定要讀那麼貴的degree, 那一定是 TEC (Monterrey). 於是她進了TEC (Monterrey), 讀的是communication. 讀了一年後, 覺得不踏實, 覺得好像沒怎麼學習, 也談不上什麼motivation, 而又覺得自己很喜歡maths, 便想轉讀engineering. 不過要defer 1 year. meaning you have to pay more. 跟父母一談之下, 得到了支持, 於是從頭開始.
"It is not that hard to get into the TEC (Monterrey), the hardest part comes into paying the tuition fee." She footnoted.
一個烈女? 她只是一個清楚自己想要什麼的一個女生. 在不斷的experiment 中, 背後需要的是一個龐大的財團支持.
她說, "People get into this University just for fame and fortune. But to be frank, I just want to marry to a good man, and be a good housewife."
心頭一震...為什麼會那麼吃驚呢?
TEC (Monterrey)是一間私立大學,也是墨國數一數二的名牌大學. 學生每個學期的學費大概是65,000 PESO.而學生一共要讀9個學期, 那是接近60萬PESO. 不少學生要借錢, 就算有scolarship 也要過著沒有人生的生活,study, study.然後是一畢業便work like a dog to repay the loan.
而EStanfanny 是交全費的學生. 然後,她說,她只想做一個家庭主婦, 一個60萬學歷的主婦.
可是,誰說不可以?
誰說,讀書就一定要幹出點什麼來?
誰又說,家庭主婦可以不問學歷?
她說,她之前想做一個廚師,學費是50,000/SEM. 而父母說, 如果她一定要讀大學, 又一定要讀那麼貴的degree, 那一定是 TEC (Monterrey). 於是她進了TEC (Monterrey), 讀的是communication. 讀了一年後, 覺得不踏實, 覺得好像沒怎麼學習, 也談不上什麼motivation, 而又覺得自己很喜歡maths, 便想轉讀engineering. 不過要defer 1 year. meaning you have to pay more. 跟父母一談之下, 得到了支持, 於是從頭開始.
"It is not that hard to get into the TEC (Monterrey), the hardest part comes into paying the tuition fee." She footnoted.
一個烈女? 她只是一個清楚自己想要什麼的一個女生. 在不斷的experiment 中, 背後需要的是一個龐大的財團支持.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
快樂基因
來墨西哥前,有一個電影會, 當中有2位墨西哥人在座分享,說是在經歷不同的ups and downs,Mexicans are happy people.
來到這裏, 感覺到當中的生活/人生哲學.
參加了一個幫未來小學老師改善他們英文對話技巧的義工活動.
在準備時, 一個組員說,在個人簡介的問題中, 要問他們: "What's your goal in life?"
組員叫Daniel, 讀的是Commercial Law, 是天之驕子的學科. 他說, 這是他教授考驗學生的方法,在一大堆理論後, 總會問一些看似"無厘頭",但卻比之前學術問題更難答的問題, 而"What's your goal in life?" is one of such.
他也希望問我們的學生這個問題, know why they are here such that they can get most out of the workshop.
And then I asked him what his goal in life is.
He laughed with a blush.
"Well, I want to do something good to the society and make it a better place to live. hmmm, and be happy."
And other group mate, Carlos, pondered for a while, and said, he wanted to enter the finance industry and earned money. "of course, to be happy about everything in life."
然後,在workshop, 一個學生答, :" To be happy at each moment is my life goal. My father used to teach me that, there is only goal in every person's life--- that's to be happy. No matter under what conditions."
簡單的人生目標, 開心就好. 驟耳一聽, 簡單得叫人乍舌, 開心/ 快樂/幸福? 是不是太享樂主義? 可是再想想, 簡單, 但卻總結了人生.
追名逐利的背後, 最後想要的是開心/ 快樂/幸福; 營營役役, 為口奔馳, 到最後, 想要的是開心/ 快樂/幸福.
可是很多時, 我們都忘了初衷, 以致在營役的人生中忙,茫,惘,亡....
來墨國交流以療情傷的Jacintha 說了一句很簡單的話, "Mexico does have a subtle positive effect on people".
是的, 墨西哥人就有那麼一種的快樂基因, 叫人感到當中閃爍的人性.
"一個充滿動盪和災難的環境裡，人仍能擁抱對美好社會的盼望，並拿出無比的勇氣去實踐，即使過程中也有錯失的時候。"
來到這裏, 感覺到當中的生活/人生哲學.
參加了一個幫未來小學老師改善他們英文對話技巧的義工活動.
在準備時, 一個組員說,在個人簡介的問題中, 要問他們: "What's your goal in life?"
組員叫Daniel, 讀的是Commercial Law, 是天之驕子的學科. 他說, 這是他教授考驗學生的方法,在一大堆理論後, 總會問一些看似"無厘頭",但卻比之前學術問題更難答的問題, 而"What's your goal in life?" is one of such.
他也希望問我們的學生這個問題, know why they are here such that they can get most out of the workshop.
And then I asked him what his goal in life is.
He laughed with a blush.
"Well, I want to do something good to the society and make it a better place to live. hmmm, and be happy."
And other group mate, Carlos, pondered for a while, and said, he wanted to enter the finance industry and earned money. "of course, to be happy about everything in life."
然後,在workshop, 一個學生答, :" To be happy at each moment is my life goal. My father used to teach me that, there is only goal in every person's life--- that's to be happy. No matter under what conditions."
簡單的人生目標, 開心就好. 驟耳一聽, 簡單得叫人乍舌, 開心/ 快樂/幸福? 是不是太享樂主義? 可是再想想, 簡單, 但卻總結了人生.
追名逐利的背後, 最後想要的是開心/ 快樂/幸福; 營營役役, 為口奔馳, 到最後, 想要的是開心/ 快樂/幸福.
可是很多時, 我們都忘了初衷, 以致在營役的人生中忙,茫,惘,亡....
來墨國交流以療情傷的Jacintha 說了一句很簡單的話, "Mexico does have a subtle positive effect on people".
是的, 墨西哥人就有那麼一種的快樂基因, 叫人感到當中閃爍的人性.
"一個充滿動盪和災難的環境裡，人仍能擁抱對美好社會的盼望，並拿出無比的勇氣去實踐，即使過程中也有錯失的時候。"
Saturday, September 4, 2010
短談
因為 politics project, 而去找了課程的professor, Gerry, for the two politics courses, International Negotiations and International Organizations.
He is good, very knowledgeable, but the problem with his teaching is that, he jumps too fast, and the examples he has given is beyond my comprehension, with regard to my limited knowledge of contemporary world history and events. (actually, I am the person to take the blame.)
不過, 還是很開心和他一起談天.
問完了project,想跟他談多一點有關Drug cartels in Mexico.
他的解釋一如他的lecture, confusing for me. 為了作個註腳, 把理解到的寫下來.
他說, drug cartels的崛起可以追溯到美國在80s/90s 成功cracked down and blocked Columbia drug cartels, 阻止了他們運毒往往美國的路線.
然後是, NAFTA (North America Free Trade Agreement) 在90年代初的達成, greatly increase the trade volumes, and those Drug Cartels in Mexico and previously in Columbia seized the opportunity to expand their business by taking advantage of the NAFTA.
Then it has to deal with the democratization in Mexico.
之前, the political power of Mexico was concentrated in one party. To make a way for the business, those drug cartels had to bride the politicians, such as giving 10% of the business profit to the government.
With the democratization in Mexico, which is a way to decentralize the power. then, the drug cartels realized that they no longer need the politicians, they can create their people in the government, and why would they have to share the 10% profit with the government.
於是, drug wars started. Drug cartels fight against the government. they fight among themselves.
Gerry highlighted one point, 就是在墨西哥沒有法律去管制不明財產. 不少人在毒品交易中謀取了暴利, 在美國, 如果你不能提供證據證明你的收入是合法獲取, 政府可以沒收你的財產. 可是, 墨國沒有. 因而, drug cartels dealers can enjoy the profit and will fight whatever it takes to secure their source of profit.
he said, setting up law to regulate the wealth obtainment is crucial to curd the drug war.
Mexico's war on drugs: optimism has turned to depression
He is good, very knowledgeable, but the problem with his teaching is that, he jumps too fast, and the examples he has given is beyond my comprehension, with regard to my limited knowledge of contemporary world history and events. (actually, I am the person to take the blame.)
不過, 還是很開心和他一起談天.
問完了project,想跟他談多一點有關Drug cartels in Mexico.
他的解釋一如他的lecture, confusing for me. 為了作個註腳, 把理解到的寫下來.
他說, drug cartels的崛起可以追溯到美國在80s/90s 成功cracked down and blocked Columbia drug cartels, 阻止了他們運毒往往美國的路線.
然後是, NAFTA (North America Free Trade Agreement) 在90年代初的達成, greatly increase the trade volumes, and those Drug Cartels in Mexico and previously in Columbia seized the opportunity to expand their business by taking advantage of the NAFTA.
Then it has to deal with the democratization in Mexico.
之前, the political power of Mexico was concentrated in one party. To make a way for the business, those drug cartels had to bride the politicians, such as giving 10% of the business profit to the government.
With the democratization in Mexico, which is a way to decentralize the power. then, the drug cartels realized that they no longer need the politicians, they can create their people in the government, and why would they have to share the 10% profit with the government.
於是, drug wars started. Drug cartels fight against the government. they fight among themselves.
Gerry highlighted one point, 就是在墨西哥沒有法律去管制不明財產. 不少人在毒品交易中謀取了暴利, 在美國, 如果你不能提供證據證明你的收入是合法獲取, 政府可以沒收你的財產. 可是, 墨國沒有. 因而, drug cartels dealers can enjoy the profit and will fight whatever it takes to secure their source of profit.
he said, setting up law to regulate the wealth obtainment is crucial to curd the drug war.
Mexico's war on drugs: optimism has turned to depression
Friday, September 3, 2010
Daily Readings
Mexico: safer than Canada
interesting figures.
still remember what the negotiation professor has commented, he felt that Mexico is a lot safer than París, he sttood as the international professor, who has been teaching in París, now in Monterrey, working for the US governement.
he also highlight the uniquness of Mexíco in Latin America, Military´s loyalty to the Constitution.
In Argentina, in Brazil, Military men overthrew the corrupt government and become the new corrupt one.
In Mexíco, despite the corrupt, incompetent government, the military is under the control.
interesting figures.
still remember what the negotiation professor has commented, he felt that Mexico is a lot safer than París, he sttood as the international professor, who has been teaching in París, now in Monterrey, working for the US governement.
he also highlight the uniquness of Mexíco in Latin America, Military´s loyalty to the Constitution.
In Argentina, in Brazil, Military men overthrew the corrupt government and become the new corrupt one.
In Mexíco, despite the corrupt, incompetent government, the military is under the control.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
累
因為任性, 又可以說是因為想洗心革面,努力讀書, 要在幾天內追回三星期的readings, 是physical也是interlectual 自殺. 在兩天只睡了7小時的人生裏, 是可以想像的累, 譬如, 明明說話者用心地, 一字一句地述說著, 你看著他的嘴在一張一合, 你卻完全不知道他在說什麼; 又譬如,對著computer.視線開始模糊,有點像是視力退步的人, 遂漸地走向黑暗;再譬如,讀了一整頁書, 準備翻開另一頁時, 問自己讀了什麼, 腦海是一片空白...
報了拳擊課程, 這裏, 上什麼課都要take attendance, 如果不夠attendance, 那是可以fail整個course. 而這個拳擊課程是免費的, 但如果不夠attendance, 便要付原本的價錢, 大約是600peso. 因此在沒有帶運動服的情況下, .穿著牛仔裙的情況下, 還是厚著面皮, 硬著頭皮去了. 幸好是女子拳擊, 但還是挺狼狽的...
上完拳擊,去computer center完最後幾段的essay, 而下一課的時間到了, 一連上兩課, 3 小時,而且之後退還有一個volunteering 的workshop... 決定走第一堂課, 去library休息...
-------
上完了課後了, 去了一個義工的briefing session.
Mexico Rural. 是去一些比較偏遠的地區, 教當地小朋友知識.
因為想taste more of Mexico, despite hardly speaking Spanish, I take part in this program.
每個學生都要想一個program.
由於不懂spanish, 只能想到教小朋友折紙...
這個community 的負責人叫Bernice的年輕女子,有點像亞洲人。在聽完其他同學present 完他們的proposal 後,她留下來, 很用心地用相片,用影片,告訴我有關那間學校的背景, 去年有什麼活動...
那是一間很小規模的學校，兩個年級共用一個班房，全校六個年級，不超過５０人。究竟他們是如何磨合當中的程度不同，Bernice也不知道。只知道，這間學校去年在全國／全市區(?)統一考試中是拿第一名的，像是香港的學能測驗／小學的ＧＳＴ程度考試。為什麼那麼厲害的學校也要大學生的輔導？為什麼不把資源放到其他更有需要的社區去？Bernice說，Mexico Rural 是想把exposure 帶到不同的社區去， 也想讓Tec的學生去體驗不同的社區，好的沒那麼好的，而考試成績好不等於沒有需要。。。
當中大約有好幾百張相，十幾個vedios, 她逐一地show給我看，告訴我相片中的人和事。（表面上，我是興致勃勃，其實我很困也很累。）
不過，一個小男孩的故事觸動著Bernice，也觸動了我。
小男孩今年三年級,得了一種病，四肢癱瘓，只有手指可以有一點的活動能力,像是寫字。
Bernice 說, 在墨國,人們是沒有這種包容性, "but we are working on it, but you know, it takes time to change the mentality."
可是在這間學校, 無論學生和老師都對小男孩很好,他在一個愛與包容的環境中成長.而小男孩的名字叫 "Angel".
"He is also happy and easy-going too. He is aware of, errr of..."
"disability?" 我插嘴
"his conditions and he accepts the way he is." Bernice said.
她展示了幾張老師抱他入教室,同學幫忙提他輪椅的相片給我看.
"it shows human spirits. and it also humbles you down to do so." She said in a smile.
她展示了一個小女孩和小男孩的合照, 她說, 小女孩喜歡上了Angel. 她偷偷地告訴她, 在她十五歲的成人禮上, 她的第一支舞要和Angle 跳.
"In Mexico, it is a big event when a girl turns into 15. a big party will be organized. the girl, she doesn't know that Angel can't dance with her, but still in her pure heart, Angel is like a normal person... " Bernice said.
在其中的一個vedio中, 小朋友圍圈在玩傳汽球的活動. 輸了的小朋友要自動搬開坐的椅子離開.
"You can tell, even they lose, they leave the circle with a happy face." Bernice smiled.
是啊,在遊戲中, 看開了輸贏, 對於名利看得不那麼重, 日後的路也好走些.
Bernice 大概用了一小時去告訴我當中的種種, 我想還未去那間學校, 我已愛上那裡, 因為那個叫Angel 的小男孩; 因為沒有計算, 只有單純地想去愛一個人, 全力地去告訴他,他有多特別的, 那種純真年代的愛情;因為Bernice的passion....
Bernice 說她有一個朋友在紐約博士畢業, 主修心理學, 音樂治療, 跟天使男孩有著一樣的狀況.
她已邀請他去探望天使男孩, 並和他的家人見面,讓他們知道天使男孩的未來可以有另一種可能. 不過, 她說, 她誰也沒說,想給大家一個驚喜...
"life is a bunch of surprises and possibilities, I like to believe that and I like to make people believe that. " She grinned.
很累, 可是裝著滿袋幸福回家.
從早上3時起床, 到現在10點, 嗯...
乘校巴回家, 遇到了Edward. 早上在上學途中,他趕上來,和我一起走, 問:"what happened to your free ride?"
之前一次,拉丁美男Wubi載了我一程, 下車, 遇見了.
"that was just a random encounter. " I said.
"oh." kind of a relief.
上完課, 在校園趕essay, 又看見了他, 他走了過來, 談了幾句, 正好和在facebooking 中. 便ADD了他. coz The sloth and the pig were commenting on my post, and I wrote something about him in the comment. had to delete it.
他說, 我是不是在跟蹤他, 怎麼可以遇到那麼多次.
我只是笑著說, 哈哈, 沒錯.
oh, boy. you are just a kid to me. ...
報了拳擊課程, 這裏, 上什麼課都要take attendance, 如果不夠attendance, 那是可以fail整個course. 而這個拳擊課程是免費的, 但如果不夠attendance, 便要付原本的價錢, 大約是600peso. 因此在沒有帶運動服的情況下, .穿著牛仔裙的情況下, 還是厚著面皮, 硬著頭皮去了. 幸好是女子拳擊, 但還是挺狼狽的...
上完拳擊,去computer center完最後幾段的essay, 而下一課的時間到了, 一連上兩課, 3 小時,而且之後退還有一個volunteering 的workshop... 決定走第一堂課, 去library休息...
-------
上完了課後了, 去了一個義工的briefing session.
Mexico Rural. 是去一些比較偏遠的地區, 教當地小朋友知識.
因為想taste more of Mexico, despite hardly speaking Spanish, I take part in this program.
每個學生都要想一個program.
由於不懂spanish, 只能想到教小朋友折紙...
這個community 的負責人叫Bernice的年輕女子,有點像亞洲人。在聽完其他同學present 完他們的proposal 後,她留下來, 很用心地用相片,用影片,告訴我有關那間學校的背景, 去年有什麼活動...
那是一間很小規模的學校，兩個年級共用一個班房，全校六個年級，不超過５０人。究竟他們是如何磨合當中的程度不同，Bernice也不知道。只知道，這間學校去年在全國／全市區(?)統一考試中是拿第一名的，像是香港的學能測驗／小學的ＧＳＴ程度考試。為什麼那麼厲害的學校也要大學生的輔導？為什麼不把資源放到其他更有需要的社區去？Bernice說，Mexico Rural 是想把exposure 帶到不同的社區去， 也想讓Tec的學生去體驗不同的社區，好的沒那麼好的，而考試成績好不等於沒有需要。。。
當中大約有好幾百張相，十幾個vedios, 她逐一地show給我看，告訴我相片中的人和事。（表面上，我是興致勃勃，其實我很困也很累。）
不過，一個小男孩的故事觸動著Bernice，也觸動了我。
小男孩今年三年級,得了一種病，四肢癱瘓，只有手指可以有一點的活動能力,像是寫字。
Bernice 說, 在墨國,人們是沒有這種包容性, "but we are working on it, but you know, it takes time to change the mentality."
可是在這間學校, 無論學生和老師都對小男孩很好,他在一個愛與包容的環境中成長.而小男孩的名字叫 "Angel".
"He is also happy and easy-going too. He is aware of, errr of..."
"disability?" 我插嘴
"his conditions and he accepts the way he is." Bernice said.
她展示了幾張老師抱他入教室,同學幫忙提他輪椅的相片給我看.
"it shows human spirits. and it also humbles you down to do so." She said in a smile.
她展示了一個小女孩和小男孩的合照, 她說, 小女孩喜歡上了Angel. 她偷偷地告訴她, 在她十五歲的成人禮上, 她的第一支舞要和Angle 跳.
"In Mexico, it is a big event when a girl turns into 15. a big party will be organized. the girl, she doesn't know that Angel can't dance with her, but still in her pure heart, Angel is like a normal person... " Bernice said.
在其中的一個vedio中, 小朋友圍圈在玩傳汽球的活動. 輸了的小朋友要自動搬開坐的椅子離開.
"You can tell, even they lose, they leave the circle with a happy face." Bernice smiled.
是啊,在遊戲中, 看開了輸贏, 對於名利看得不那麼重, 日後的路也好走些.
Bernice 大概用了一小時去告訴我當中的種種, 我想還未去那間學校, 我已愛上那裡, 因為那個叫Angel 的小男孩; 因為沒有計算, 只有單純地想去愛一個人, 全力地去告訴他,他有多特別的, 那種純真年代的愛情;因為Bernice的passion....
Bernice 說她有一個朋友在紐約博士畢業, 主修心理學, 音樂治療, 跟天使男孩有著一樣的狀況.
她已邀請他去探望天使男孩, 並和他的家人見面,讓他們知道天使男孩的未來可以有另一種可能. 不過, 她說, 她誰也沒說,想給大家一個驚喜...
"life is a bunch of surprises and possibilities, I like to believe that and I like to make people believe that. " She grinned.
很累, 可是裝著滿袋幸福回家.
從早上3時起床, 到現在10點, 嗯...
- Students here are required by LAW that they have to perform 480 hours community services
- Lectures take attendance, 3 times being 10 minutes late are counted as 1 absence.
- They use continuous assessment method, such that you have to work hard throughout the semester.
- They have shuttle bus services, working from 6pm to 8am, to deliver students to their home (in front of the door of their home)
乘校巴回家, 遇到了Edward. 早上在上學途中,他趕上來,和我一起走, 問:"what happened to your free ride?"
之前一次,拉丁美男Wubi載了我一程, 下車, 遇見了.
"that was just a random encounter. " I said.
"oh." kind of a relief.
上完課, 在校園趕essay, 又看見了他, 他走了過來, 談了幾句, 正好和在facebooking 中. 便ADD了他. coz The sloth and the pig were commenting on my post, and I wrote something about him in the comment. had to delete it.
他說, 我是不是在跟蹤他, 怎麼可以遇到那麼多次.
我只是笑著說, 哈哈, 沒錯.
oh, boy. you are just a kid to me. ...
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
活著多好
Sangita是另一個新加坡女生, that Ｉhang out quite often,無它的, 只是在言談間, 大家覺得對味了, 便開始在對方心中有了一定的地位.
(sangtita & jacintha 都是印尼裔的新加坡人.)
星期天是她22歲的生日, 星期六的晚上10點,我們一班人集聚在她的apartment里,等待和她一起蜡烛.她在早上和另一個roommate 去了瀑布爬艇, (她和三個德國人住, 是在學生的apartment大廈中) 說好是7點回來,可是在凌晨了也不見她, 電話從下午七點就不通了.
大家都開始擔心了. 為什麼?發生了什麼事?
一個很奇怪的party,一眾賓客都來了, 可欠缺了主角. 而且主角的room mates都不在. 只是她room mate的朋友們在一旁招呼客人,是另一群的德國人. (住在另一個單位)
在凌晨一點後,大家都慌了, 開始找電話, 她去的那個瀑布團電話, 可是卻是語音電話. 然後是打給university, 官方說如果明早不見才找警察幫忙.
折騰了一小時, 終於, 她的德國朋友說, 大家各自回去休息, 臨走前更幫忙收拾好才走.
後來, sangita 在早上回來了.
今天重遇, 她說, 她們給困在山上了. 因為剛下了雨, 航道改了..... 具體詳情也不大清楚. 只是知道, 當時她在山上, 又冷又餓, 看著天色從明到暗,再從暗到明, 在深夜時分, 真的覺得自己有可能要死在這里. 雖然和同行的團友一起, 可是死亡的恐懼如影隨行...
"I really wanted to shed my tears for a few times, but I kept telling myself not to do coz things would turn out fine. and the only thing I can do is to pray GOD."
"Well, there is a reason for everything, I believe such a thing happened just before my Birthday Eve, and I survive. Must be something."
"It was so warm when they saw my return. They hugged me tightly. it was so warm. and i saw the balloons, the gifts, the clean house... oh man..."
"well, sometimes you have to undergo bad things in order to know the good. "
那種死過返生的感覺. 明白. 只能說, "it is ok, the best thing is that you are still alive."
活著多好!!
在異國渡過了如此一個生日, is really of something.
總是要在死亡前, 才想到有很多的事沒有完成, 很多的遺憾...
然後才驚覺,活著多好....
------
她說, 在宿舍, 有一個本地學生在一天之內給人打劫了兩次.
第一次是在早上六點, 在學校附近的oxxo給人拿刀搶了荷包.
而晚上3點, 在clubbing後, 走在回宿舍的路上,給一個蒙面人用槍打劫, 可他只剩下20peso了, 怕得要命, 但還好平安回來了.
在墨國, 真的, 平安是福.
(sangtita & jacintha 都是印尼裔的新加坡人.)
星期天是她22歲的生日, 星期六的晚上10點,我們一班人集聚在她的apartment里,等待和她一起蜡烛.她在早上和另一個roommate 去了瀑布爬艇, (她和三個德國人住, 是在學生的apartment大廈中) 說好是7點回來,可是在凌晨了也不見她, 電話從下午七點就不通了.
大家都開始擔心了. 為什麼?發生了什麼事?
一個很奇怪的party,一眾賓客都來了, 可欠缺了主角. 而且主角的room mates都不在. 只是她room mate的朋友們在一旁招呼客人,是另一群的德國人. (住在另一個單位)
在凌晨一點後,大家都慌了, 開始找電話, 她去的那個瀑布團電話, 可是卻是語音電話. 然後是打給university, 官方說如果明早不見才找警察幫忙.
折騰了一小時, 終於, 她的德國朋友說, 大家各自回去休息, 臨走前更幫忙收拾好才走.
後來, sangita 在早上回來了.
今天重遇, 她說, 她們給困在山上了. 因為剛下了雨, 航道改了..... 具體詳情也不大清楚. 只是知道, 當時她在山上, 又冷又餓, 看著天色從明到暗,再從暗到明, 在深夜時分, 真的覺得自己有可能要死在這里. 雖然和同行的團友一起, 可是死亡的恐懼如影隨行...
"I really wanted to shed my tears for a few times, but I kept telling myself not to do coz things would turn out fine. and the only thing I can do is to pray GOD."
"Well, there is a reason for everything, I believe such a thing happened just before my Birthday Eve, and I survive. Must be something."
"It was so warm when they saw my return. They hugged me tightly. it was so warm. and i saw the balloons, the gifts, the clean house... oh man..."
"well, sometimes you have to undergo bad things in order to know the good. "
那種死過返生的感覺. 明白. 只能說, "it is ok, the best thing is that you are still alive."
活著多好!!
在異國渡過了如此一個生日, is really of something.
總是要在死亡前, 才想到有很多的事沒有完成, 很多的遺憾...
然後才驚覺,活著多好....
------
她說, 在宿舍, 有一個本地學生在一天之內給人打劫了兩次.
第一次是在早上六點, 在學校附近的oxxo給人拿刀搶了荷包.
而晚上3點, 在clubbing後, 走在回宿舍的路上,給一個蒙面人用槍打劫, 可他只剩下20peso了, 怕得要命, 但還好平安回來了.
在墨國, 真的, 平安是福.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
stereotype
很多功課,很多presentations, 很忙. 功課壓力排山倒海.
在上完negotiation後, 和本地的team mates交洽. paulina問我是否從日本來,
我苦笑, 中國. "I think I am suffering from identity crisis coz people will ask me if I either from Japan or Korean, but never Chinese. "
她安慰道, "no, coz in our Asian-pacific culture, we learned that Chinese are Ugly, Japanese are beautiful. and I think you are beautiful, that's why I asked you if you are from Japan. "
既驚又喜, 為什麼chinese are portrayed as being Ugly? why Japanese are portrayed as beautiful?
and The Tec is one of the most prestigious Universities in Mexico, her next generation's perception towards Chinese are coined in such a way, how wrong is that? how can it build a normal relationship with Chinese?
though could not help feeling the slightest joy as being praised for being "beautiful.".
but just learned that my two group mates need to work part-time to sustain their living expenses.
as discussed with Sangita previously, that the Tec is such a elite school, 有點像香港大學, 很多都是非富則貴的人, 而且比香港大學有過之而無不及,
當然, 這裏也一小撮很down-to-earth 的人.像是Paulina n Anaceli. (two group mates)
I like them. 班上有一大群的人都是來自"天上人間" 的學生, 可她們在班中討論時, 雄辯滔滔, prenatal deficiency in Social capital never underestimated their integrity and personality to stand themselves out.
好像尋回"人"的味道.
她也快畢業了, 明年五月. 和我差不多. 所以雖然只是短談了幾句, 可是我已喜歡上這個女孩, 覺得是一個交得過的朋友.
-----
回家, 乘校車, 遇見了那個會塗潤唇膏的陽光男孩, Edward.
他說, Tec is a private University. It costs about 66,000 peso per semester. 40% of his tuition fee is from Scholarship, 40% from credit, and 20% from his parents.
he has to study hard to maintain the scholarship or else he needs to go back to his home city to study.
listening to his candid sharing, I was dumbfounded. while lots of international students are squandering their time money on partying/ traveling (including me sometimes), there are people who strive hard to maintain a place here.
but different situations, can't compare. isn't it the same in HKU?
international students spend time going LKF, traveling southeast Asia, there are lots of students struggling to get the both ends met.
sigh...
and For the first time, I want to study hard here to get most out of it.
在上完negotiation後, 和本地的team mates交洽. paulina問我是否從日本來,
我苦笑, 中國. "I think I am suffering from identity crisis coz people will ask me if I either from Japan or Korean, but never Chinese. "
她安慰道, "no, coz in our Asian-pacific culture, we learned that Chinese are Ugly, Japanese are beautiful. and I think you are beautiful, that's why I asked you if you are from Japan. "
既驚又喜, 為什麼chinese are portrayed as being Ugly? why Japanese are portrayed as beautiful?
and The Tec is one of the most prestigious Universities in Mexico, her next generation's perception towards Chinese are coined in such a way, how wrong is that? how can it build a normal relationship with Chinese?
though could not help feeling the slightest joy as being praised for being "beautiful.".
but just learned that my two group mates need to work part-time to sustain their living expenses.
as discussed with Sangita previously, that the Tec is such a elite school, 有點像香港大學, 很多都是非富則貴的人, 而且比香港大學有過之而無不及,
當然, 這裏也一小撮很down-to-earth 的人.像是Paulina n Anaceli. (two group mates)
I like them. 班上有一大群的人都是來自"天上人間" 的學生, 可她們在班中討論時, 雄辯滔滔, prenatal deficiency in Social capital never underestimated their integrity and personality to stand themselves out.
好像尋回"人"的味道.
她也快畢業了, 明年五月. 和我差不多. 所以雖然只是短談了幾句, 可是我已喜歡上這個女孩, 覺得是一個交得過的朋友.
-----
回家, 乘校車, 遇見了那個會塗潤唇膏的陽光男孩, Edward.
他說, Tec is a private University. It costs about 66,000 peso per semester. 40% of his tuition fee is from Scholarship, 40% from credit, and 20% from his parents.
he has to study hard to maintain the scholarship or else he needs to go back to his home city to study.
listening to his candid sharing, I was dumbfounded. while lots of international students are squandering their time money on partying/ traveling (including me sometimes), there are people who strive hard to maintain a place here.
but different situations, can't compare. isn't it the same in HKU?
international students spend time going LKF, traveling southeast Asia, there are lots of students struggling to get the both ends met.
sigh...
and For the first time, I want to study hard here to get most out of it.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Daily Readings
Mexico sacks 3,200 police officers
(Al jezeera )
Mayor killed in Mexican border state
(CNN)
(Al jezeera )
Mayor killed in Mexican border state
(CNN)
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
- Authorities say the mayor was driving with his daughter when he was killed
- Governor says the killing was an "attack against institutions"
- Mexico's president condemns the violence
- The state of Tamaulipas is also where 72 slain migrants were found
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
- Company owns Mexicana Airlines, MexicanaClick and MexicanaLink
- Airlines suspend operations due to financial problems
- Grupo Mexicana changed owners a week ago
- Company hopes to begin flying again soon
Powerful
Randomly videos about her appeared.
and the I could not stop listening...
Nina Simone
the one that has profound impact on me as a listener for the first time.
Nina_Simone
Nina's biography from Wiki
Nina's official website
through the course of cultural, history and society of Latin America, the professor said, Latin Americans don't even acknowledge the existence of Black in their country. Black racial discrimination is kinda dark side of their race. they will feel pain when talking about it.
"well, probably it is even worse, we don't even know they have existed here. we could not see them." He said.
before coming to mexico, I know that Africa and Latin America is closely connected.
Cuba has the largest black population besides Africa.
As Aunt Ranee in Ghana said, as an extension of the Story of Slavery trade, she found that it is actually a triumph of human spirit. because of this, all the cultures meet with each other and connect. Which something contributing to the globalization present day.
and the I could not stop listening...
Nina Simone
the one that has profound impact on me as a listener for the first time.
Nina_Simone
Nina's biography from Wiki
Nina's official website
through the course of cultural, history and society of Latin America, the professor said, Latin Americans don't even acknowledge the existence of Black in their country. Black racial discrimination is kinda dark side of their race. they will feel pain when talking about it.
"well, probably it is even worse, we don't even know they have existed here. we could not see them." He said.
before coming to mexico, I know that Africa and Latin America is closely connected.
Cuba has the largest black population besides Africa.
As Aunt Ranee in Ghana said, as an extension of the Story of Slavery trade, she found that it is actually a triumph of human spirit. because of this, all the cultures meet with each other and connect. Which something contributing to the globalization present day.
Friday, August 27, 2010
友誼
墨國的公共交通系統很差,他們有公共巴士,可是好像沒有多少人會乘搭, 猜想大都是基層的本地人才會乘坐. 不少家庭都有私家車代步,要麼就是乘坐的士. 記得在機場通過agen叫的士時,當中竟有6家不同的的士公司.
因為我的課很早,要在7點30分出門,我沒有麻煩媽媽,asked her to give me a ride to school nor I wanted to spend money on hiring taxi. (it costs about 23 peso, which is about 16 HKD from home to school), I walk to school.
on the way to school, I met a guy, who I met during my first time to take the school bus. 一個皮膚黝黑,身材健碩, 愛聽ipod, 而當中的歌都是英文流行歌, 會塗潤唇膏的陽光男孩. (well, I sat beside him while on the bus)
He lives 2 blogs away from mine. In Monterrey, the streets and buildings are arranged in a Grid-like pattern.
And apparently, he recognized me too.
and we started to chat.
He is freshman this year. He is from the other city.
他的第一個問題便是, "what the hell are you doing here?" 言下之意是, 墨國那麼危險, 來這幹嘛?
"why not" was my response.他無言了.
反問, 他很誠實地回答, "why not, this is my home country. Tec is one of the best Universities in Mexico. My father also graduated here."
問他第一年的大學生活如何? 他說在適應過程中, 父母在3小時之外的城市, 要自己照顧自己,包括去supermarket. 每天一大早走路上學, 面對排山倒海的功課, 要安排好自己的時間. 當然還有語言問題.
to respond to my surprise, he said, due to the accents and difference in dialectical usages, lots of times, he could not understand what local people are saying.
"it is absurd, we are in the same country, speaking the same language, but .... "
一段路程, 一個故事, 一段友誼就這樣開始了....
---
下午上 Latin America scenarios, which is about the contemporary history of Mexico/ America/ Canada.
對於只有中三程度history knowledge 的我是一個很大的挑戰, 不過抱著想學多點,而且沒有Grading /GPA 壓力的心態, 還是選修了.
和Jacintha一起, 坐在前面的男生給了一個友好地微笑.
Jacintha告訴我, 其實幾天前在campus,他想叫住我,打招呼, 可惜我走得太快. 他知道我的名字. 沒辦法, chau 在german 是指再見, with the close relationship between Germans and Mexicans, well, it is pretty memorable.
他很好看, 有一雙會笑的眼睛,長得向上捲的眼睫毛, 清澈有神眼眸, 高挺的鼻子, 整齊潔白的牙齒, 是典型的拉丁美男子.
他半側身仕, 在我聽得confused時, 會旁加解釋, 又告訴我有關 international student club 的事.
oh, man !!!!!!!!!
放學,走在回家的路上, 他和遅來坐在他身旁的女孩停車,叫住了我, 請我坐順風車.
路過球場, 一群學生在練習排球.
"oh, look at that international student, so hot!!" he screamed at the girl who was driving the car, with his eyes fixed on a strong-built guy with blond hair.
"well, go and get him." the girl said in a dull tone.
"I know, I have already got him under my search engine." he smiled.
"Don't get too disturbed, he eyes on hot guys more often than I do." The girl said to me.
Wait, he is gay. Holly crap!!!!! why such a hot guy turns into a gay. well, here, girls not only have to compete with hot latin american girls, but also hot guys in search a companion. what the hell!!
Fine. at least, friendship remains.
The girl asked me where I came from.
Japan, China , US or where?
I frowned. China.
"please forgive my ignorance. To me, Chinese dress more old-fashion while Japanese are more fashionable. you are inbetween. your eyes are big, but Japanese don't have big eyes. and you speak English very well. so I am confused. " she explained.
hmmm, Living in Hong Kong, Where the East meets the West, I am a fusion of everything. :))
其實我喜歡這種confusing identity, well, in an increasingly globalized world, I can go everywhere and anywhere yet belong to nowhere....
因為我的課很早,要在7點30分出門,我沒有麻煩媽媽,asked her to give me a ride to school nor I wanted to spend money on hiring taxi. (it costs about 23 peso, which is about 16 HKD from home to school), I walk to school.
on the way to school, I met a guy, who I met during my first time to take the school bus. 一個皮膚黝黑,身材健碩, 愛聽ipod, 而當中的歌都是英文流行歌, 會塗潤唇膏的陽光男孩. (well, I sat beside him while on the bus)
He lives 2 blogs away from mine. In Monterrey, the streets and buildings are arranged in a Grid-like pattern.
And apparently, he recognized me too.
and we started to chat.
He is freshman this year. He is from the other city.
他的第一個問題便是, "what the hell are you doing here?" 言下之意是, 墨國那麼危險, 來這幹嘛?
"why not" was my response.他無言了.
反問, 他很誠實地回答, "why not, this is my home country. Tec is one of the best Universities in Mexico. My father also graduated here."
問他第一年的大學生活如何? 他說在適應過程中, 父母在3小時之外的城市, 要自己照顧自己,包括去supermarket. 每天一大早走路上學, 面對排山倒海的功課, 要安排好自己的時間. 當然還有語言問題.
to respond to my surprise, he said, due to the accents and difference in dialectical usages, lots of times, he could not understand what local people are saying.
"it is absurd, we are in the same country, speaking the same language, but .... "
一段路程, 一個故事, 一段友誼就這樣開始了....
---
下午上 Latin America scenarios, which is about the contemporary history of Mexico/ America/ Canada.
對於只有中三程度history knowledge 的我是一個很大的挑戰, 不過抱著想學多點,而且沒有Grading /GPA 壓力的心態, 還是選修了.
和Jacintha一起, 坐在前面的男生給了一個友好地微笑.
Jacintha告訴我, 其實幾天前在campus,他想叫住我,打招呼, 可惜我走得太快. 他知道我的名字. 沒辦法, chau 在german 是指再見, with the close relationship between Germans and Mexicans, well, it is pretty memorable.
他很好看, 有一雙會笑的眼睛,長得向上捲的眼睫毛, 清澈有神眼眸, 高挺的鼻子, 整齊潔白的牙齒, 是典型的拉丁美男子.
他半側身仕, 在我聽得confused時, 會旁加解釋, 又告訴我有關 international student club 的事.
oh, man !!!!!!!!!
放學,走在回家的路上, 他和遅來坐在他身旁的女孩停車,叫住了我, 請我坐順風車.
路過球場, 一群學生在練習排球.
"oh, look at that international student, so hot!!" he screamed at the girl who was driving the car, with his eyes fixed on a strong-built guy with blond hair.
"well, go and get him." the girl said in a dull tone.
"I know, I have already got him under my search engine." he smiled.
"Don't get too disturbed, he eyes on hot guys more often than I do." The girl said to me.
Wait, he is gay. Holly crap!!!!! why such a hot guy turns into a gay. well, here, girls not only have to compete with hot latin american girls, but also hot guys in search a companion. what the hell!!
Fine. at least, friendship remains.
The girl asked me where I came from.
Japan, China , US or where?
I frowned. China.
"please forgive my ignorance. To me, Chinese dress more old-fashion while Japanese are more fashionable. you are inbetween. your eyes are big, but Japanese don't have big eyes. and you speak English very well. so I am confused. " she explained.
hmmm, Living in Hong Kong, Where the East meets the West, I am a fusion of everything. :))
其實我喜歡這種confusing identity, well, in an increasingly globalized world, I can go everywhere and anywhere yet belong to nowhere....
Thursday, August 26, 2010
發生2
早上起來, turn on the computer, the head-line of aljazeera.com 是在美國和墨西哥的邊境城市發現了72具非法移民的屍體, 說是史上最大的drug-cartel-related killing.
心都寒了. 以為人民會擔[心, 會像是世界未日般地惶恐地活著,可不是呀, 市面一片平靜,同學們好像都不知道發生什麼事似的. 人民依舊照常地過日子. 吃喝拉稀睡.what the fuss have I made?
晚上, 乘 Brenda 的順風車去上filming workshop. 問她如何看這宗新聞, 她竟然不知道...
只好說, "we thought like local people will have a hard time to deal with the news. But here life goes on as usual."
she said, "yep, because we are not like what have been portrayed in the news. it is not like that. we live as usual."
而回來後, 墨西哥下了第一場的雨,好像有點什麼. 想起香港人在菲律賓發生的慘劇, 好像更是有黑雨警告, 真是天若有情天亦老.收到在LA機場認識Cassandra's husband 的 facebook inbox message,叫我小心. 很溫馨. 也很窩心.
只是除了繼續生活還能怎樣?
心都寒了. 以為人民會擔[心, 會像是世界未日般地惶恐地活著,可不是呀, 市面一片平靜,同學們好像都不知道發生什麼事似的. 人民依舊照常地過日子. 吃喝拉稀睡.what the fuss have I made?
晚上, 乘 Brenda 的順風車去上filming workshop. 問她如何看這宗新聞, 她竟然不知道...
只好說, "we thought like local people will have a hard time to deal with the news. But here life goes on as usual."
she said, "yep, because we are not like what have been portrayed in the news. it is not like that. we live as usual."
而回來後, 墨西哥下了第一場的雨,好像有點什麼. 想起香港人在菲律賓發生的慘劇, 好像更是有黑雨警告, 真是天若有情天亦老.收到在LA機場認識Cassandra's husband 的 facebook inbox message,叫我小心. 很溫馨. 也很窩心.
只是除了繼續生活還能怎樣?
生活
上完西班牙文課，和幾個新加坡學生和一個香港學生一起吃早餐．
是的，在這裏有１３個香港學生，來自港大，中大，科大和嶺大．
當然還遇到了大約十個來自新加坡不同大學的學生． 而我經常hangout with的不是香港學生，而是新加坡學生． 談到交流生的國藉，這裡最多的竟是德國人，在我上的６個課程中， 每班都有１／３德國學生．
在早餐期間，２５歲，已有女朋友的Andre慨嘆，在南美，亞洲男孩很難有艷遇，"Those Mexican girls are crazy about white guys, they don't pay a damn shit on me."
可是南美男人卻喜歡亞洲女孩，很不公平，he sighed with an injured ego.
"oh, no. Asian girls are popular among white guys too. Australians are also obsessed with Asian girls." 他說得有點咬牙切齒，像是恨不得自己是女生一樣．
好像有點道理，可是背後更深一層的gender differences 是什麼呢？
White supremacy, yep. coz of the colonial power, and girls want something of certainty, a sense of security, so white guys fulfill the expectation, and fits the perception.
but men, they care races less, 畢竟當談到relationship,當中的大男人主義，they are the one to provide the sense of security and protection to women. 所以，種族，膚色對他們的man ego沒有多大的影響？to go further, 男人都是用下半身思考, so such underlying cultural codes don't matter?
-------
在上六點課的ｂｒｅａｋ中，和兩個本地同學談了一會．我告訴他們， 早上聽到的新聞，
前兩天，有一個男人在學校附近宿舍前，用槍射殺了另一個人． 可是，在他賄賂警察後，他給釋放了．
當中一個同學說，”well, we have lots problems and struggles, but we don't pay attention to that. live for today is enough”.
我無言了．
放學後，和另同一個同學一起走， 她說，最恐怖的shooting是在去年， 有三名學生在踏出校門時給射殺了，兩個master students, one was Phd. "the atmosphere was so tense and fearful."
but gradually it died down coz life goes on...
-----
attended one film workshop.
Speaker is a 24-year-old, Bolivian guy. He is a former student in the Tec.
Pretty interesting....
當中有一個女生住在host mama附近， she gave me a free ride after the film workshop.
她說， 她是他的好朋友，大學時一起上課，然後一起上教會， 甚至曾約會一個月，不過後來大家都覺得不是彼此的cup of tea. 成為了知己．
然後，她邀請我去她的教會，因為有一個美國的傅教士， 沒有language barriers.
要發生的都發生著，順著生活走，會看見未來的．
是的，在這裏有１３個香港學生，來自港大，中大，科大和嶺大．
當然還遇到了大約十個來自新加坡不同大學的學生． 而我經常hangout with的不是香港學生，而是新加坡學生． 談到交流生的國藉，這裡最多的竟是德國人，在我上的６個課程中， 每班都有１／３德國學生．
在早餐期間，２５歲，已有女朋友的Andre慨嘆，在南美，亞洲男孩很難有艷遇，"Those Mexican girls are crazy about white guys, they don't pay a damn shit on me."
可是南美男人卻喜歡亞洲女孩，很不公平，he sighed with an injured ego.
"oh, no. Asian girls are popular among white guys too. Australians are also obsessed with Asian girls." 他說得有點咬牙切齒，像是恨不得自己是女生一樣．
好像有點道理，可是背後更深一層的gender differences 是什麼呢？
White supremacy, yep. coz of the colonial power, and girls want something of certainty, a sense of security, so white guys fulfill the expectation, and fits the perception.
but men, they care races less, 畢竟當談到relationship,當中的大男人主義，they are the one to provide the sense of security and protection to women. 所以，種族，膚色對他們的man ego沒有多大的影響？to go further, 男人都是用下半身思考, so such underlying cultural codes don't matter?
-------
在上六點課的ｂｒｅａｋ中，和兩個本地同學談了一會．我告訴他們， 早上聽到的新聞，
前兩天，有一個男人在學校附近宿舍前，用槍射殺了另一個人． 可是，在他賄賂警察後，他給釋放了．
當中一個同學說，”well, we have lots problems and struggles, but we don't pay attention to that. live for today is enough”.
我無言了．
放學後，和另同一個同學一起走， 她說，最恐怖的shooting是在去年， 有三名學生在踏出校門時給射殺了，兩個master students, one was Phd. "the atmosphere was so tense and fearful."
but gradually it died down coz life goes on...
-----
attended one film workshop.
Speaker is a 24-year-old, Bolivian guy. He is a former student in the Tec.
Pretty interesting....
當中有一個女生住在host mama附近， she gave me a free ride after the film workshop.
她說， 她是他的好朋友，大學時一起上課，然後一起上教會， 甚至曾約會一個月，不過後來大家都覺得不是彼此的cup of tea. 成為了知己．
然後，她邀請我去她的教會，因為有一個美國的傅教士， 沒有language barriers.
要發生的都發生著，順著生活走，會看見未來的．
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
發生
早上起床，看到新聞，說是香港旅客在菲律賓給人挾持了。看著面書的news feeds，才發現有人可以變得不理性地責怪整個國家、整個民族。是一種的racism. 恐怖。
菲律賓，想起乘坐的菲航，想起鄰座Cham,想起可能的菲律賓畢業旅行等等。。
因為有了relation,所以可以評論，可以有一些的情感。
下午回到家，再updated，不幸的是當中大帶八個人質給殺死．再看面書，除了偏激的種族主義，更多的是哀悼和提醒愛得及時，當然還有理性地討論，喚起的大家對公民，在全球化下身的世界公民探討．．．
因為在南美，並不是直接地看著事情的發生，這樣子說，好像有點冷感，其實我對事件沒有很大的感受，除了惋惜生命．．．
一早墨西哥的頭條是，在mexico city 城外的一座橋上，掛著４具給斬首截肢的屍體．．．
半島新聞的頭條是在剛果又發生了organized rape system. more than 200 women were raped by the military men in front of their children , husband. ...
看著當中的事情，我不禁在想，我有多少留意鄰近的國家的歷史？其實是一無所知。
很可悲．．．對於這樣一個小國，除了想起在港的菲傭，它是一個島國，在二戰期間是美國的殖民地之外，我對它的歷史知道多少？對它的人民又知道多少？
又，in this globalised world with growing turbulence and chaos, 如何為自己定位，又如何去自處？
雖然事件不幸，但在不同聲音中，著實感到我們都從中上了一堂人生的課，一堂有關公民與世界公民的課．
－－－－－－
早上的西班牙文課，老師說墨西哥前總統Fox的沒用， 一個好的生意人，可不是一個好的政客。談了他在０２年面對卡斯達羅的無能，０２ 年，"Monterrey was still a good city." the international conference would be held in motterrey coz it is a safer place when compared to Mexico city. 卡斯達羅和布殊都來參加．為了表示對布殊的尊重，他向卡斯達羅做了一個很不當的要求．
”唉呀，酒店沒位，你可以到朋友家住？你可以和我一起吃午餐，坐在我的身旁，可是你必須晚上離開。因為布殊來。 ”
可笑極了。
因為卡把對話錄了下來，然後公告全世界。
http://www.cubaminrex.cu/English/Speeches/FCR/fcr2002/FCR_political%20statement%2022042002.asp
以為墨西哥人很愛國，對於醜聞不會亂談，又反過來想自己的幼稚，愛國不是等於只是地擁護它的好，而忽視它的不好吧．
－－－－－
下午回家，遇到一個叫ＬＩＮＤＡ的女人，寒暄了幾句，走前，她告訴我，要小心，蒙特內爾有很多壞人。
什麼時候，大家都擔心著，都提心吊膽著，天啊！
當香港在面對當中的哀悼時，這裡的人是每天都活在恐懼中， 我沒有資格去評判， 可是，應該把視野擴闆一點。
而不是在一片傷感中過去，畢竟生活繼續，如何在壞事中成長，以便更好的面對人生，這才是重要。
菲律賓，想起乘坐的菲航，想起鄰座Cham,想起可能的菲律賓畢業旅行等等。。
因為有了relation,所以可以評論，可以有一些的情感。
下午回到家，再updated，不幸的是當中大帶八個人質給殺死．再看面書，除了偏激的種族主義，更多的是哀悼和提醒愛得及時，當然還有理性地討論，喚起的大家對公民，在全球化下身的世界公民探討．．．
因為在南美，並不是直接地看著事情的發生，這樣子說，好像有點冷感，其實我對事件沒有很大的感受，除了惋惜生命．．．
一早墨西哥的頭條是，在mexico city 城外的一座橋上，掛著４具給斬首截肢的屍體．．．
半島新聞的頭條是在剛果又發生了organized rape system. more than 200 women were raped by the military men in front of their children , husband. ...
看著當中的事情，我不禁在想，我有多少留意鄰近的國家的歷史？其實是一無所知。
很可悲．．．對於這樣一個小國，除了想起在港的菲傭，它是一個島國，在二戰期間是美國的殖民地之外，我對它的歷史知道多少？對它的人民又知道多少？
又，in this globalised world with growing turbulence and chaos, 如何為自己定位，又如何去自處？
雖然事件不幸，但在不同聲音中，著實感到我們都從中上了一堂人生的課，一堂有關公民與世界公民的課．
－－－－－－
早上的西班牙文課，老師說墨西哥前總統Fox的沒用， 一個好的生意人，可不是一個好的政客。談了他在０２年面對卡斯達羅的無能，０２ 年，"Monterrey was still a good city." the international conference would be held in motterrey coz it is a safer place when compared to Mexico city. 卡斯達羅和布殊都來參加．為了表示對布殊的尊重，他向卡斯達羅做了一個很不當的要求．
”唉呀，酒店沒位，你可以到朋友家住？你可以和我一起吃午餐，坐在我的身旁，可是你必須晚上離開。因為布殊來。 ”
可笑極了。
因為卡把對話錄了下來，然後公告全世界。
http://www.cubaminrex.cu/English/Speeches/FCR/fcr2002/FCR_political%20statement%2022042002.asp
以為墨西哥人很愛國，對於醜聞不會亂談，又反過來想自己的幼稚，愛國不是等於只是地擁護它的好，而忽視它的不好吧．
－－－－－
下午回家，遇到一個叫ＬＩＮＤＡ的女人，寒暄了幾句，走前，她告訴我，要小心，蒙特內爾有很多壞人。
什麼時候，大家都擔心著，都提心吊膽著，天啊！
當香港在面對當中的哀悼時，這裡的人是每天都活在恐懼中， 我沒有資格去評判， 可是，應該把視野擴闆一點。
而不是在一片傷感中過去，畢竟生活繼續，如何在壞事中成長，以便更好的面對人生，這才是重要。
Monday, August 23, 2010
恐懼
星期日天, 和cathy 和她的host family 一起去禮拜堂.她的host mama 有一個十一歲的外孫.
在墨國出生,住在杜拜,讀書. 會西班牙語,英語,阿拉伯語, 學習著法語.
問他喜歡杜拜還是墨國, 答案脫口而出, "of course Dubai. because of the shooting."
"shooting?" 一時回不過神來.
他解釋, 墨西哥危險啊, "here, you can hear shooting everyday. I can walk alone outside the house, shopping malls and don't have to worry about anything. we don't lock the door in Dubai. Keys are left there."
一個十一歲的男孩口中聽到/感受到現實的恐懼...hmmm...
而這種的恐懼是如影隨形. 小男孩說, 以前只是聽到有壞人在釀造著動盪,在其他城市中發生著, 對monterrey 的人來說像夢境, 當壞人來了該誠, "turns the dream into a reality".
在聚會中, 牧者assured the mass, 說是在動盪不安的世代, 頭上的那位會保守會眾的平安...
聽了一堂不錯的道, (雖然在一個悶熱的會堂中,我有點昏昏欲睡) 是一個26歲德國女生的講道,談她在南美的cultural shock, which is about being transparent in a community.
talking about lust--- which is something that we do so excessively. the fear and scar of being rejected and defiance becomes the self-defense mechanism....
the faith in stepping out of the comfort zone....
想到自己的未來, 也開始有點的不安....
在墨國出生,住在杜拜,讀書. 會西班牙語,英語,阿拉伯語, 學習著法語.
問他喜歡杜拜還是墨國, 答案脫口而出, "of course Dubai. because of the shooting."
"shooting?" 一時回不過神來.
他解釋, 墨西哥危險啊, "here, you can hear shooting everyday. I can walk alone outside the house, shopping malls and don't have to worry about anything. we don't lock the door in Dubai. Keys are left there."
一個十一歲的男孩口中聽到/感受到現實的恐懼...hmmm...
而這種的恐懼是如影隨形. 小男孩說, 以前只是聽到有壞人在釀造著動盪,在其他城市中發生著, 對monterrey 的人來說像夢境, 當壞人來了該誠, "turns the dream into a reality".
在聚會中, 牧者assured the mass, 說是在動盪不安的世代, 頭上的那位會保守會眾的平安...
聽了一堂不錯的道, (雖然在一個悶熱的會堂中,我有點昏昏欲睡) 是一個26歲德國女生的講道,談她在南美的cultural shock, which is about being transparent in a community.
talking about lust--- which is something that we do so excessively. the fear and scar of being rejected and defiance becomes the self-defense mechanism....
the faith in stepping out of the comfort zone....
想到自己的未來, 也開始有點的不安....
Sunday, August 22, 2010
讚美
昨晚的hangover, 於是在起床後才洗澡.
出去吃早餐, 媽媽第一句便說, 你很漂亮.
身邊總是充滿了這些see you nicely的人, 在上星期六和昨晚去party前, 她都會走進我的房間, 打量著,一臉的欣慰和崇尚: 說,"wow, you are beautiful."
昨晚, 她更說, "you are an artist. I told my daughter, that you have good taste, beautiful hairstyle, wear beautiful dress, shoes and put on makeup. you are beautiful"
說得我都不好意思了. 在那麼多affirmation中成長是幸福的, 因為縱使在未來的人生中, 遇到了冷水, 你知道,背後總有人在乎你, 你在他們心中有一定的價值.
------
昨晚,去到一個bar, 明明主題是latin american countries night, 可卻和一般的bar沒什麼分別. 遇到不少的打量, 可是, 當他們開始搭訕, 我的一句, "Poquito espanol, ingles please", 他們便轉過頭去了.
所以, no spanish, no hot mexicans, and to make it even worst will be those hot english-speaking guys are taken.
and those mexicans don't dance. just sitting, sipping taquilla.
反正來了, 就enjoy吧. 和jecintha 一起跳舞.
很快有一位男士來和她跳舞, touchy, hot dance.
不過, 她拒絕了他,
我知道背後的一位男孩打量了我很久. 於是便邀請他一起跳舞. 開始他有點害羞, 可是當他喝了一杯taquilla後, open up.
well, he is not much of a dancer. 而且是很青澀的一個clubbing goer 雖然他的樣子挺成熟的. that doesn't mean that I am experienced. 只是, 因為試過什麼是seasoned one, 縱使是一場的辣身舞, 有某些的曖昧,也會是讓你舒服的曖昧.
中場休息. 想吸煙, 但沒有lighter. 只好叨著, 他向別人借來, 為我點煙.
忽然明白一點, 我們都喜歡有經歷的人, 在他們身上學習, making us a "better" person.
Well, surely I am a corrupting experience for him. Smoking cigarettes one after the other.
明明就是一個歷練不夠的人, 可在異國, 我卻成為了別人的eye-opener...
出去吃早餐, 媽媽第一句便說, 你很漂亮.
身邊總是充滿了這些see you nicely的人, 在上星期六和昨晚去party前, 她都會走進我的房間, 打量著,一臉的欣慰和崇尚: 說,"wow, you are beautiful."
昨晚, 她更說, "you are an artist. I told my daughter, that you have good taste, beautiful hairstyle, wear beautiful dress, shoes and put on makeup. you are beautiful"
說得我都不好意思了. 在那麼多affirmation中成長是幸福的, 因為縱使在未來的人生中, 遇到了冷水, 你知道,背後總有人在乎你, 你在他們心中有一定的價值.
------
昨晚,去到一個bar, 明明主題是latin american countries night, 可卻和一般的bar沒什麼分別. 遇到不少的打量, 可是, 當他們開始搭訕, 我的一句, "Poquito espanol, ingles please", 他們便轉過頭去了.
所以, no spanish, no hot mexicans, and to make it even worst will be those hot english-speaking guys are taken.
and those mexicans don't dance. just sitting, sipping taquilla.
反正來了, 就enjoy吧. 和jecintha 一起跳舞.
很快有一位男士來和她跳舞, touchy, hot dance.
不過, 她拒絕了他,
我知道背後的一位男孩打量了我很久. 於是便邀請他一起跳舞. 開始他有點害羞, 可是當他喝了一杯taquilla後, open up.
well, he is not much of a dancer. 而且是很青澀的一個clubbing goer 雖然他的樣子挺成熟的. that doesn't mean that I am experienced. 只是, 因為試過什麼是seasoned one, 縱使是一場的辣身舞, 有某些的曖昧,也會是讓你舒服的曖昧.
中場休息. 想吸煙, 但沒有lighter. 只好叨著, 他向別人借來, 為我點煙.
忽然明白一點, 我們都喜歡有經歷的人, 在他們身上學習, making us a "better" person.
Well, surely I am a corrupting experience for him. Smoking cigarettes one after the other.
明明就是一個歷練不夠的人, 可在異國, 我卻成為了別人的eye-opener...
Saturday, August 21, 2010
一天
總是這樣,堆砌著滿腦的主意,可卻怎麼也寫不好一份的文章.於是開始了開夜車的生活. 可就是怎麼也下不了筆, 思想便秘的感覺很痛苦.
想不到HKU的難產症在南美還是橫行. 醒著的時候想睡, 真的躺下來的時候, 卻又滿頭的瑣碎.
在5點半起來,睡眼惺忪, 只好洗了一個泠水澡. 在死線面前終於找到了活下去的勇氣. 開始敲打著鍵盤. 終於7:45打好.乘的士回學校.
很喜歡這一課,雖然在8點上, 可是很imspring. 經過討論, you are exposed to different kinds of perspective, contributing the more tolerant and much boarder world view.
我喜歡這種形式.
想不到一晚的工作竟可在2分鐘內述說完. 天啊. 連自己也驚訝自己的能言.
but in the end of the discussion, I am really surprised by Patra, the Chez lady's comment. the abuse of body, everything is the same, you are an artist, you are an athletics, the same.
so the selling of body as prostitution = the selling of arts/ knowledge.
there, I could not help wondering, on the one hand, I have to agree with her that, yep, in turns of give and take nature, it is.
but inside my heart, a sense of defiance lingers.
sex/ talents/ knowledge/ can they equate?
yep, time is up. another lesson starts ...
-----
下午跟一個香港女生CATHY 去了Downtown. 在一個公園迷路了. 既來之,則安之.
在入口遇見了一群人, 衣著打扮比較過時, 是農村人的純樸, 可愛. 他們打量著我, 用我僅有的spanish, "Bunos Tardes. "
他們立刻笑遂顏開. 問我從哪裏來. "me de China. poquito espanol. esttudiante de monterrey." (I am from China, speak little spanish, studying at the Tecnologico de Monterrey.)
他們樂開了, 一個老婆婆前來, 說了幾句我聽不懂的spanish. 言語不通, 可是擁抱是uuniversal的友好示意, 走上前去, 抱著她. 她有點激動. 繼續說著...
然後是一大群人擁上來, 看著. 不一會兒, 便有人要求照相. 想起曾經的自己, 看見外國人,便想用相機把當中的情景拍下來, 以便回憶. 想不到,有一天, 自己會成為別人生命中特別的那位.
然後是更多的photo requests. 逐一的答允, 他們在照完相後, 道了謝,轉身和身邊人談論著,漸行漸遠. 那個婆婆在離開前,又在我耳邊絮敘了幾句. 老人家的可愛叫人窩心.
-----
在公園的kiosk休息了一下, 當中有兩個男人. 他們搭訕. 可惜不懂ENGLSIH. 發現言語不通是可以殺掉所有的浪漫. 他們一聽到我不懂西班牙語, conversation stops. well, I know I do have certain appeals to them, but without any interaction, feelings stop there. Cathy knows a bit spanish. She was doing the talking. though one of them wanted me to engage in the convo.
well, I gradually get used to this. Communication failure. not much of a big deal.
I just sat there, enjoying myself.
------
在誤打誤撞的情況下, (我們想進去問如何走去乘的士的,)入了一間arts museum, 那個security guard一看見我們, 便熱情地招呼我們上樓去看畫展. 很漂亮的畫 總覺得墨西哥是一個很Artistic的國家,當中的建築,畫家,電影...
一個正忙著運東西的男孩,說很喜歡我的 Heart in Africa necklace. 可惜他沒有necklace在身, 要不然,我可以和他交換,成為我的Heart in Mexico. 墨西哥人喜歡bracelets,走在街上,人民手上都戴著不同的手繩,手鏈.... I am not that obsessed with bracelets.
走的時候, 那個security guard送我們出門, 他吻了我的臉頰, 叮嚀了cathy幾句, 後來才知道, 他叫我們小心墨西哥男人, 不要輕易相信他們.
夕陽西下,走在回家的路上, 一天過去了...
though lots of people remind us to be careful with Mexicans here in Monterrey, have not met a bad one so far. Should be graceful for this....
想不到HKU的難產症在南美還是橫行. 醒著的時候想睡, 真的躺下來的時候, 卻又滿頭的瑣碎.
在5點半起來,睡眼惺忪, 只好洗了一個泠水澡. 在死線面前終於找到了活下去的勇氣. 開始敲打著鍵盤. 終於7:45打好.乘的士回學校.
很喜歡這一課,雖然在8點上, 可是很imspring. 經過討論, you are exposed to different kinds of perspective, contributing the more tolerant and much boarder world view.
我喜歡這種形式.
想不到一晚的工作竟可在2分鐘內述說完. 天啊. 連自己也驚訝自己的能言.
but in the end of the discussion, I am really surprised by Patra, the Chez lady's comment. the abuse of body, everything is the same, you are an artist, you are an athletics, the same.
so the selling of body as prostitution = the selling of arts/ knowledge.
there, I could not help wondering, on the one hand, I have to agree with her that, yep, in turns of give and take nature, it is.
but inside my heart, a sense of defiance lingers.
sex/ talents/ knowledge/ can they equate?
yep, time is up. another lesson starts ...
-----
下午跟一個香港女生CATHY 去了Downtown. 在一個公園迷路了. 既來之,則安之.
在入口遇見了一群人, 衣著打扮比較過時, 是農村人的純樸, 可愛. 他們打量著我, 用我僅有的spanish, "Bunos Tardes. "
他們立刻笑遂顏開. 問我從哪裏來. "me de China. poquito espanol. esttudiante de monterrey." (I am from China, speak little spanish, studying at the Tecnologico de Monterrey.)
他們樂開了, 一個老婆婆前來, 說了幾句我聽不懂的spanish. 言語不通, 可是擁抱是uuniversal的友好示意, 走上前去, 抱著她. 她有點激動. 繼續說著...
然後是一大群人擁上來, 看著. 不一會兒, 便有人要求照相. 想起曾經的自己, 看見外國人,便想用相機把當中的情景拍下來, 以便回憶. 想不到,有一天, 自己會成為別人生命中特別的那位.
然後是更多的photo requests. 逐一的答允, 他們在照完相後, 道了謝,轉身和身邊人談論著,漸行漸遠. 那個婆婆在離開前,又在我耳邊絮敘了幾句. 老人家的可愛叫人窩心.
-----
在公園的kiosk休息了一下, 當中有兩個男人. 他們搭訕. 可惜不懂ENGLSIH. 發現言語不通是可以殺掉所有的浪漫. 他們一聽到我不懂西班牙語, conversation stops. well, I know I do have certain appeals to them, but without any interaction, feelings stop there. Cathy knows a bit spanish. She was doing the talking. though one of them wanted me to engage in the convo.
well, I gradually get used to this. Communication failure. not much of a big deal.
I just sat there, enjoying myself.
------
在誤打誤撞的情況下, (我們想進去問如何走去乘的士的,)入了一間arts museum, 那個security guard一看見我們, 便熱情地招呼我們上樓去看畫展. 很漂亮的畫 總覺得墨西哥是一個很Artistic的國家,當中的建築,畫家,電影...
一個正忙著運東西的男孩,說很喜歡我的 Heart in Africa necklace. 可惜他沒有necklace在身, 要不然,我可以和他交換,成為我的Heart in Mexico. 墨西哥人喜歡bracelets,走在街上,人民手上都戴著不同的手繩,手鏈.... I am not that obsessed with bracelets.
走的時候, 那個security guard送我們出門, 他吻了我的臉頰, 叮嚀了cathy幾句, 後來才知道, 他叫我們小心墨西哥男人, 不要輕易相信他們.
夕陽西下,走在回家的路上, 一天過去了...
though lots of people remind us to be careful with Mexicans here in Monterrey, have not met a bad one so far. Should be graceful for this....
Study the "Foreign"
Studying organizational structure of NAFTA and its negotiation. Local students seem to be more interested in EU, it struck me a bit that, NAFTA seems to have affected the latin america continent to a great scale, but why locals seem not to care?
and then I thought of myself, ASEAN / China issues also influence the regional stability and development, how much attention have I paid on them?
Maybe this kind of "strangeness" can inspire the motivation to study.
and I found it more pressurized to study here.
in a format of continuous assessment, there are always essays, tests, oh, man. it is a lot harsher than in HKU.
Despite the tight-schedule and high-pressure of grades, I like here. Students are open, expressive, eloquent, lectures are engaging. Or because I don't care about the grades, so I slack on my writings and won't need to pay any costs...
But I come here to learn. that's why I am taking 3 demanding politics courses.
international negotiation and resolution/ international organization and institution/ Latin america scenario.
It is like a tutorial to my world history, to comprehend the present, you have to know more about the past. that's why I am taking them. tho difficult/ chur/ I will get it done.
Partying so what? need to learn and grow.
still have one month for me to exploit. I will survive.
I know my bank account kinda suck....
and then I thought of myself, ASEAN / China issues also influence the regional stability and development, how much attention have I paid on them?
Maybe this kind of "strangeness" can inspire the motivation to study.
and I found it more pressurized to study here.
in a format of continuous assessment, there are always essays, tests, oh, man. it is a lot harsher than in HKU.
Despite the tight-schedule and high-pressure of grades, I like here. Students are open, expressive, eloquent, lectures are engaging. Or because I don't care about the grades, so I slack on my writings and won't need to pay any costs...
But I come here to learn. that's why I am taking 3 demanding politics courses.
international negotiation and resolution/ international organization and institution/ Latin america scenario.
It is like a tutorial to my world history, to comprehend the present, you have to know more about the past. that's why I am taking them. tho difficult/ chur/ I will get it done.
Partying so what? need to learn and grow.
still have one month for me to exploit. I will survive.
I know my bank account kinda suck....
Friday, August 20, 2010
From Frustration to Fighting back
來了墨西哥接近2星期, 言語不通,很氣餒.
well, fine. I didn't learn Spanish before coming here, I suffered from the misconception that locals could speak English, which is totally wrong. I need to accept the reality. ok.
The problem is with the Spanish lessons here.
I have taken 2 Spanish courses here, needless to mention that they belong to beginner level. and I am REALLY a COMPLETELY beginner.But the professors are like use Spanish to teach. I could not figure out what the heck they were talking about while my dearest fellow classmates already asked questions far beyond my comprehension.
Attending lectures becomes a torture for me. I always lose track of myself during the lecture.
It is really frustrating.
well, fine. I didn't learn Spanish before coming here, I suffered from the misconception that locals could speak English, which is totally wrong. I need to accept the reality. ok.
The problem is with the Spanish lessons here.
I have taken 2 Spanish courses here, needless to mention that they belong to beginner level. and I am REALLY a COMPLETELY beginner.But the professors are like use Spanish to teach. I could not figure out what the heck they were talking about while my dearest fellow classmates already asked questions far beyond my comprehension.
Attending lectures becomes a torture for me. I always lose track of myself during the lecture.
It is really frustrating.
Monday, August 16, 2010
一星期
在墨西哥星期天的早上, 沒有慣常的星期天教會聚會,留在家裏． 原來離開香港已有一星期了．
昨 晚去了一間karaoke式的酒吧喝酒, 只是一 杯”調稀”了的taquilla, 卻有一公升那麼多, 亦已足以叫我昏昏欲睡, 我意識清醒,只是有點睡意. 或許這也是醉的一種.同行的新加坡女生Jacintha更喝了2杯, 她已漸漸失去了理性, 她一連吻了我臉頰好幾次. Leon則作我們的護花使者. 跟他們一起,真的可以舒服做自己. 沒有尊卑, 沒有怕他們的難受, 很快樂, 很開心. 他們很細心地送我回家. 習慣了獨立, 原來內心深處, 其實我渴望被照顧.
早上醒來, 頭痛欲裂. 但還是update了自己facebook.一上就是2小時. 真的會上癮.要開始努力做功課了.
昨 晚去了一間karaoke式的酒吧喝酒, 只是一 杯”調稀”了的taquilla, 卻有一公升那麼多, 亦已足以叫我昏昏欲睡, 我意識清醒,只是有點睡意. 或許這也是醉的一種.同行的新加坡女生Jacintha更喝了2杯, 她已漸漸失去了理性, 她一連吻了我臉頰好幾次. Leon則作我們的護花使者. 跟他們一起,真的可以舒服做自己. 沒有尊卑, 沒有怕他們的難受, 很快樂, 很開心. 他們很細心地送我回家. 習慣了獨立, 原來內心深處, 其實我渴望被照顧.
早上醒來, 頭痛欲裂. 但還是update了自己facebook.一上就是2小時. 真的會上癮.要開始努力做功課了.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
慶幸
今天, housemate給了我兩本notebooks , 說是之前另一位autralian housemate留下的,想跟我分享.
她說, 那個女生,本來也是來exchange, 可是抵步後, 因為在澳洲的父親病重,要趕回去守望/照顧, 然後回去了, 再也沒有回來.
忽然感恩起來, 雖然在機場因為沒有美國簽證而給"遣返",可最後我也來了. 有什麼比在經歷千山萬水後的打道回府來得"可惜"?
應該感恩...
她說, 那個女生,本來也是來exchange, 可是抵步後, 因為在澳洲的父親病重,要趕回去守望/照顧, 然後回去了, 再也沒有回來.
忽然感恩起來, 雖然在機場因為沒有美國簽證而給"遣返",可最後我也來了. 有什麼比在經歷千山萬水後的打道回府來得"可惜"?
應該感恩...
簡單
星期六, 來到墨西哥的第一個週末. 因為額滿的關係,沒有去caves. 留在家裏, 整理一下自己的人生.
看看書, 聽聽歌. MAMA的孫女和媳婦來了. 小女孩很可愛,用普通話和我打招呼,從她的表情,你可以知道, 她很想和你談天.我們一起拍照,再上傅去facebook, 小女孩和她媽媽都有各自的facebook account. 大家都很開心.
其實, 幸福很簡單, 只是和你喜歡的人在一起, 即使不做什麼, 那種”在”的感覺已經很溫暖.
看看書, 聽聽歌. MAMA的孫女和媳婦來了. 小女孩很可愛,用普通話和我打招呼,從她的表情,你可以知道, 她很想和你談天.我們一起拍照,再上傅去facebook, 小女孩和她媽媽都有各自的facebook account. 大家都很開心.
其實, 幸福很簡單, 只是和你喜歡的人在一起, 即使不做什麼, 那種”在”的感覺已經很溫暖.
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